I woke up.

I woke up.

This feeling is just too breaking for me. To not be able to say what you feel to those closest to you. Even if the pain and the loneliness floods every face of your earth.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to just throw a tantrums so that they would see it. They would know that something is wrong. But I didn't.

I'm afraid that they would judge me for being too emotional. So I bottle it inside. I can feel the slithering snake of anger and hurt, crawling inside of me; and yet I just ignore it like it's nothing new.

I woke up.

I fell asleep to the voices inside me like they are some kind of lullaby. They aren't good. But at least I have someone to talk to in my lonely hours.

By the way, it's the start of a new year. I hope that this year I get to feel a bit happier than usual. I want it to be my year. To be a year of great adventures.

Yet the voices are telling me, I will never be happy. So I just dwell on that thought. I swim in the ocean of voices inside of me. I am the captain of the sea.

Now, I am drowning. I can't breathe. Blood all over my body. I am fainting. I want this to be my year but I know it will be every other year. They will win. The snakes will win.

I never woke up again.