If I will meet myself again...

If I will meet myself again.. I will tell her I miss her. 

I miss her laugh, an endlessly laugh. I miss the way she thinks, she never overthink about life, of what may happen next. She will do whatever she want. I miss the way she carelessly move, never think that she's almost clumsy, that clumsiness will bring her on danger. She knows it, but she just don't care.  I miss the way that she's unique. I miss everything about her. 

Not this over thinker 19 year old girl whose always assume things. Who is always getting hurt because of loving a guy that she thinks he loves her back. Not this girl that has a two faced. Not this girl that becoming a bitch. Not this girl who will always think what people may say to her and suddenly don't care with anyone anymore. Make herself to become other person just to appreciate her. Not this girl who don't care about what happen next, just go with the flow. You think it's fine? No, I don't think so. 

I don't want this but I guess I will never be my old self anymore. This other side of me taking in control that I think it is the best for me. I'm putting a big wall that will protect me by saying bad things on people, not talking to them, ignore them as long as I could. "If they want to talk to me, they will talk to me first" and in the end.. no one will talk to me. And I don't care. I don't need you in my life.

I miss my old self. I just miss her but I think I don't want her anymore. I want to become like this. Coz, good people always gets a worst treatment.