I'm afraid on my own shadow

I have butterflies in my stomach. I often start to sweat. I tense and I have bundle of nerves. That is my feeling when I encounter Math subject.

   Monday morning at 6:00am my alarm clock start to ring. At the same time I heard the Voice of my mother. "wake up sallin" Every morning that I always heard from her. I scrub my eyes. There's something like glue on side of my eyes. Oh it's morning glory omygod! I start to remove my morning glory. I pick this and place between my forefinger and thumb finger and start to shape this in form of circle. I feel the soft and watery light on my finger. After that I stretch out my feet and hands. I feel the blood running in my whole body. Then I prepare my self because its Monday. Therefore  I go in Cristo  Rey High school that time I'm grade 3 learner and as usual. I encounter  the math subject again and again. When math subject visit on my mind I get nervous. I hate math seriously.

It's sunny morning. I'm walking going to school with my friends. I'm wearing my school uniform navy blue skirt and tak'in sando. Actually the proper uniform is Navy blue skirt and white blouse but I like always wear sando. Because that month its march therefore it is summer day. while I'm walking I can fell the sun biting on my cheek. I can see the trees waving at me. I can feel the soft and fresh air touching in my whole body. Every house. I smell different food. But the common is onion and garlic with rice. You know that. In Philippines or the filipino people they called "Sinangag" on that food.

Finally. I'm here! Opps! Not inside but in outside. Every time before I enter inside of school all my allowance I buy paper dolls. If I don't mistaken my allowance before is 10pesos only and all of my money I waste this in buying plastics bracelet or candy worth 5pesos anything that I can see in front of our school.

When I'm in our class room    some of my classmates they play paper dolls. Then one of my classmate approach me she said "Do you want play paper dolls? Then I response I said. Yes lets play. I get my notebook because my paper dolls is there inside of my note book. I didn't know that my playmate at the same time classmate have chickenpox.  The day goes by I got Chickenpox also. It is so itchy I have an unpleasant feeling in my skin and all over my body that makes me want to scratch on wall or anything rough. Supposedly I feel like I have worm in my body obtaining over my skin. Even though I have chickenpox I still continue studying. Actually in our room w have tree person had chickenpox. We have own place on side of our room. Suddenly our teacher go inside then my classmates  get panic and they transform quickly and they go in their chairs. This is it math subject again and again. Our teacher start to discuss out lesson. When I look the numbers I'm so delirious I can see the tiger eyes of the numbers staring at me.  I can imagine that all wrote in blackboard there's world war. I feel my head cracking like an egg. I'm like  cat standing her fur when she angry. After the discussion we have quiz. My hands shaking like blender on  because i know on myself I hate math. I really really hate math!

You know what I do? I cannot put my name on my quiz paper. I'm shame. I'm sad because I know I have done something wrong. When our teacher give our quiz paper everybody they receive them quiz paper except me. 1 paper remaining on hand of our teacher. 
"who don't have quiz paper" then I raise my hand.
" this paper is yours Rensal Lyn?"
No ma'am this is not mine. (my voice is like an 3 years old baby so slow) I cannot admit that paper is mine. The fearfulness attacking me. That day until now I can't
forget that time i my life. I realize if I study on how fight my fear and face my anxiety in math. Perhaps. I love math now. If only I have a time machine I wanna go back to the time when I'm Grade 3. I want to correct all my mistakes. I'm Rensal Lyn Macapinlac I'm weak I'm afraid of my own shadow. I Regret.

RENSALYN MACAPINLAC HUMSS 2A