I miss someone I shouldn't be missing. I don't tell anyone that I feel pain, I cry myself to sleep, I don't like this, I don't like being sad, I don't like thinking about you, I don't like myself, but I love you. maybe one day, you'll be on your way to somewhere and you'd think about your silly best friend who once did everything she could to make you happy. maybe. maybe not. I miss you. I never knew I'd be this sad, I'd be terrible at moving on. we're barely holding on, and I miss you. I used to cut myself, but that's like months ago, I explained my pain to you, and you hurt me.
I'm sad, but I say I'm fine. my sweet little lies, keeps me safe. recently I feel those thoughts that I left behind months ago, keeps haunting me. I want to live, but not like this. don't worry, I'm not going to hurt myself, too lazy to do something like that. I miss you when its 2am, I miss you when its2pm. I don't really want you back, I wish I could tell you how you ruined me. how you ruined a mother's only child, I wish I could tell you how you broke me into a million pieces. I wish I could make you realise, how you even made me try to kill myself. I wish, I could. but you don't care, never did.
dear karma, do you even exist?