Integrating My Life As A Teenager

I am musician. I love to play music. And this year 2018 and January I decided to commit to practice and building myself as a musician. Practice. Practice. Practice.

Like with fitness-training, in music you build strength through focused repetition; pushing your growth edges, guided by wisdom in how to build strength in that area. (This is how ALL the greats did this. Mozart wasn't necessarily amazingly innately gifted... it is a fact that he got his 10,000 hours of 'deliberate practice' in at incredibly early ages - so it appeared to be talent.)

So I selected a growth-edge piece of music, that I was determined to play well both in full piano and full voice (this seems to be rather challenging to do both well at the same time). And I practiced, and practiced, and practiced the heaven out of this thing (aka piece of music).

back to INTEGRATE

So, after tons of hours of practice, I set aside this work completely for 6 weeks. And while I did some cross-training (other singing/piano), and then have basically been *integrating* and focused on my OWN INTERNAL PROCESS for 4 straight days now (after a previous 3 days in bed - never be fooled by 'sickness' looking like a 'down-er'. Some of the world's BEST CREATIVITY has come immediately during or after an 'extremely high' fever.

[Being 'sick' in bed, is just your body taking over the reigns for a bit, and giving your head a break from making the decisions. Let your body wisdom take over, and there is not need to making out like a 'bad thing'. Consider it anyway.]

So after my 'sickness' and my deep focus inward [cavewoman dweller for a few days; defending my process]...

Today, I felt a natural shift on my own. I didn't know how many days my process would take. I just felt and * knew* I was guiding this meditation [yes, it included Netflix binging with *awareness* - it does matter how you do it (see SuperBetter computer games can serve you.. hugely... if you do it with awareness... that was proven and demonstrated by extensive research).

Netflix is story telling (just don't count on it to improve your mood, or get you off the couch). It's modern-day storytelling. It can help you facilitate the feeling of *latent or buried emotions* - (but you can't skip over it... when you are feeling something... Pause the damn show... and be with it. Thank the f*ing screen if you must - your feelings are REAL which my therapist explained this to me in the most beautiful way. It can only be triggered because it exists repressed or undealt with in you. ask me more later) Also, I *knew* the timing was on point, because I had evidence (thank you time cycles and studying them).

My integration process was complex, but in its simplicity, I defended it as something outright, where external doingness was alleviated from needing to show any results. Journaling was also good (stop "overthinking" and get real with your thoughts so they quit swirling around and potentially drowning you).

final RESULT

Today, I knew there was something different. And I sat down at my piano to play this piece. And it was the best I have ever performed it. The best, not after a week of deliberate practice; but out of sorting myself out from the inside out.

Our clarity of intention, is the bedrock of our integrity. If it ain't sorted out, our performance suffers. Best way to produce results? Sometimes, it's really valuing the integration process. What all have you done, felt, and experienced? Have you sorted through it? Did it go like you thought it would? (basically almost never) Have you really been with it, and let your raw naked heart be with that and all of those feelings?

If you actually want alive and real results, when would now be a good time actually sort through those feelings? Chances are there are friends to help you. Your feelings will *not* sort through themselves on their own. That's just delaying reality, and delaying your fullest experience of living.

LIVE it. Full color. Not in your head. But walking through the virtual reality that is life, and being in it, with all your feelings and experiences, and pure honest-to-god intentions. That's life.

Thanks friends.