Sometimes I feel happy, as if I am fine. But this feeling, this feeling of loneliness sometimes overpowers this being fine emotion. I don't know I don't know why, I don't know how but I am feeling this way. I have people to talk to, I have people who will care if I die. I guess just not enough people to care when I am alive. Even if I have enough people to care about me I am just not sure if they really know to show it to prove it to make me feel Wanted.
Is it too much to ask for, to be felt Wanted. Is there anything wrong with me, am i too much of the things that i shouldn't be. I don't know. I have no clue. you know its strange, its weird actually to feel such an unwanted emotion.
All i want is care, love, a hug, a hand to hold, someone who can be my forever. Or at least someone who can make me believe, kind people exist. If you are lonely, it really doesn't affect you. But when you have people who claim to love you, but not really showing some love, trust me it really hurts. I have stopped giving myself scars long ago, i have stopped expecting things, i guess i have. I don't believe in people now, i don't trust anyone. I feel hurt, i feel bad, i feel unhappy and i can't really share my feelings with anyone, so here i am, sipping my coffee as i type this to shed off some weight that i have been carrying in my thoughts.