Last time

Dear JN,

How are you doing? I hope you're doing okay. After all the things I've said that hurt you and caused you so much pain, sorry. Sorry for not holding my temper and let my madness ruin everything you had. I wrote this letter because I want to make an apology for saying those things though saying sorry could not mend it. Also, I wrote this because I will no longer see you. It's kinda cool, isnt it? After almost 5years of having you in my life, there is this point that I can no longer see you.

Anyway, I'm glad that I once have you. Thankful that you're my "once upon a time, you were my everything." I will not tell that I would not miss you, coz if I do, I'll be fooling myself again. Honestly, I really miss you but I aint have the right to feel that way. I can still remember the last time we kissed. The last time I hugged you so tight. The last time I heard you sang. The last time you laughed. The last time you touched me. The last time you carry me. The last time you told me "I love you." I didnt include the "breaking my heart" part. Coz I chose to break my own heart. I chose it for letting you yank everything I had. Now I'm broken. Totally broken. Can't find myself. I dont know why. For the really last time, I thank you. For every memory we had made. For every smile that you painted. For every trials we fought. For every simple jokes that made me laugh. I will never forget how we end up riding in a LBL bus. Gave me a rose on our fourth monthsary. Bought me. "Jaffi" when you're about to leave. Sang me the songs, "adik sayo, prinsesa, ako'y sayo at ikay akin lamang." The times we argue everytime I get your guitar from your hand. The talks we had. The problems weve shared. The simple things that makes us happy. Those adventure we had. The times "kahit walang pera, masaya." The awkward times you are picking carabao's pupu. The time we had spent in washing your clothes. The cuddles we had in your room. The sharing of our smell. The jealousy we had. Everything. You taught me how to love.

I'm still blessed to have you once in my life. Too bad, I can't keep you anymore. You have taken my whole self. I didnt even gave myself my half part nor just a little portion of it. I gave everything to you. 😃. So, this is really a goodbye for  me and you. I'm now letting go every piece that you brought me. You played a big part. Congratulations! Thanks for making me believe that loving a person like me can be cheated, wasted, and unloved. Got no reasons to fall inlove again, coz if I do, I'd end up hurting myself. Well I guess, I 'm happy for what's with me right now. 😚 I love you, Goodbye. Your my first love and no one can change that. 😚

From your ex girlfriend,
FL 💔