LET FREE ME

2 may 2017

Dear diary

This day is different .I have chosen the way I'm gonna travel for the rest of my life.My mom always says that I can never take my own decisions.But I feel bad ,thinking that she believes in words of an astrologer more than mine.  I feel  bad about my inability to speak in front of my mom and her fat, cranky brother. But now I have decided to exit this home.

My mom said that  I have been here since I was born.She wanted me to accept this home and be happy, but I can't.This home and these people living here never let me live my life. I know that our home is in poor condition same as our family, our relationships and our lifestyle.They never bothered to send me to a school, never bothered whether I had my food or not.She was always busy searching for a job and maintaining it.I felt bad for my mom when she was unable to find a job but I hated her when one day she came home drunk with a young man holding her. This continued.They enjoyed going out. I would be waiting for her with a empty stomach,for her come back but she would come home full.

She buys few vegetables and two bread packets for the whole month. I have to cook and sleep half stomach every day in the fear that someday I may have nothing to eat .I know my complaints will never end but I lost my patience when she left the home forever saying that now  I'm grown up and I should maintain this home and make a life for myself .she is going  to Mumbai to live with her boyfriend and soon they will get married.That was the last day I saw her.

         I really never thought that she'll leave me alone.This is the day made me realize that now Anne is not my mom who once worked day and night for me and when she had no job she tried hard with the hope.she would say that someday we will be happy.This Anne is a selfish woman who left her daughter alone only for her comfort.Now she is no one to me.I gonna be strong to face anything.I'm not related to this home, this place and Anne.

         Now I'm seventeen and in all these seventeen years, I had never thought about him, never asked  Anne about this because I promised not to question her about my father.I don't know why I'm missing that man.I don't know his name, I don't know how he looks, I don't even know whether he is alive or not.But I know now it's of no use .

Now it's time to pack my bag.I have to tell Miya she has been my only friend through all of this.Uncle Ram is a teacher and her mother is a housewife.She completed her schooling and went to Delhi for higher studies.I spoke to the uncle he said that Miya will help me find some job and learn too.With all the hope and forgetting all old memories, I'm gonna travel in my new way.You are the only one to wish me good luck.

The train leaves at 9:00 tomorrow morning. 

Bye