Like it did to me.

One moment they were sitting then the next; he was singing.

A song, she always wondered why she always fell for those who have a talent in singing. She was, as usual, busy talking and chatting with her friends, not until the moment he sang.

She felt everything around her stop. The teacher’s voice sounded like nothing. She heard no voice from the usual cheerful man. Her friends looked like they stopped moving, as if on cue; every muscle in their body stopped when his voice box released some of its treasure. And everything was a blur, nothing felt real, everything felt surreal; like a fairytale.

Since then, she never stopped looking at him; whether by accident or intentional. Every possible moment, she will look and stare at him; also doing her best for him not to notice.

Unconsciously, she befriended him; she tried to talking to him. She learned his favorites; his favorite color, his favorite drink, his favorite book, his hobbies, his friends, his likes and dislikes. Lastly, his favorite girl; the girl he fancies.

It hurts knowing that the person you like already fancy someone else. She clenched her teeth trying to numb the clenching of her chest. She stopped talking to him since then.

But she realized, ignoring him was more painful than talking about the girl he likes. And she did not know what made it hurt— the fact that they weren’t having conversations or the fact that he never noticed that she ignored him. Once again, she overlooked the thought, doing her best to think of other possible topics.

He transferred to a different school.But her affections never faltered. She cried when he first told her about his parents’ plans on transferring. It was pretty far, maybe one needed a ride or two, but she was never a friend of maps; she can’t even remember her best friend’s house when it took around three turns to reach.

She was never happy: she, loving the oblivious boy from afar; she, caring for the boy while knowing that the feelings will never be mutual.

But she was contented — and with that contentment, everything will be fine.

Miraculously, she liked a different guy the year he transferred. Yet, in the end of the day, she still compared the two, and after a day of comparison, he still won the ruse battle.

The reason? Nobody knew, not even her.

The next school year he came back, she was excited - ecstatic to see him again. Then she saw him, his boyish look was gone, replaced by a manly one. Then his voice was deeper like it was coated by the whole year of his experiences without her.

She asked him to sing her all-time favorite song; the song he sang back when she felt infatuation rise from her heart (or hypothalamus).

Unfortunately, rumors about her liking him had spread. It was a hellish experience, him ignoring her, trying to avoid conversations or any contact. Yet she endured all the pain, she liked him too much.

What made her snapped was when she started to feel like he was using her. First, he requested unusual things, and to be honest, he only asked for something once. But she snapped. Maybe all the pent up feelings burst. Or the pain that she kept inside finally took its toll, the real reason; - again- nobody knew, but the only thing that she was sure of was that she stopped liking him.

For real.

She then felt infatuated again, with different guys, and she started to openly confess her feelings, of course in a humorous manner. She never knew where she got the guts, but deep inside, she knew that she was only using it to forget that one guy who completed and shattered her heart.

The next year, she was pretty sure she totally forgot about the guy, she stopped feeling the sparks and the blood rush. The feeling of uneasiness halted. And when he held her hand for the first time, she just smiled and felt nothing, no other reactions. And that made her proud of herself, because finally, she moved on from the one-sided relationship that had been going for three years.

Still, fate was really cruel. They were grouped together in a very important project; a thesis project, a type of project that did require contact and communication: things that she severed before. But she never let herself be bothered. After all, she moved on.

They talked in a civil manner, every little thing was about the project, the start of the conversations will always be questions regarding the thesis, and will always end with a thank you for the help they gave.

Though those conversations unconsciously and unexpectedly brought them closer. They started to know things about each other that they never mentioned to anyone before; writing their own narratives, shipping weird fictional characters, their insecurities, and fears, things that they both found humorous, and the person they liked. They will always exchange thoughts about their feelings and the things they should do. That’s when she realized that they are so much alike. And they became friends.

This setup continued, and one normal day, he sang again, this time though, not alone, for he sang with her.

And that moment, she was reminded of the feelings that she had.

The feelings that she thought she had lost.

And this time, it was only deeper for she realized how perfect he was for her.

Realization hit her like a Zeus’ thunderbolt. She can’t sleep; she can’t focus on anything because all she can think of was that she can never let their friendship go to waste.

And so, she decided to hide it, to bury it beneath her.

Unfortunately, the more she tried hiding it, the more it became obvious.

She again started to crave for his touch, his smile, his voice, his laugh; his everything.

But she knew that nothing good will come out of this.

Afterall…

This was not a story about a man and a woman in love.

But a woman, who will be forever in love with a man, without him knowing- or without him caring.