Mistakes

You gave fear to so many, no one's spared including me.
Must say that we're truly fated together.
I'm even frightened for what you can bring to me.
My question to you is that, "Why do you love to give people misery?".
Because everytime we get to encounter, I've always been feeling scared, ashamed, and guilty.
All that you did was fed me this excruciating feeling that wrecked me inside.
And there are times that, we're not only committed once or twice but even more.
That even in my weariness, still you won't stop haunting and tormenting me.
I hate to admit it, but I do love to romanticized the idea of you.
And by that, somehow you get to make my ego tied to you.
But as time and days pass by, I just wanted to be able to let go from your vicious tie.
All I ever wanted was all this somber feelings to be gone.
And I do know to myself that, I'll overcome you someday.
That somehow I'll have the courage to face you, to let you know that you won't be the one to be able to manipulate me.
That I myself, will always be the one who can take over--the one who validates myself not something that's unworthy.
But I wanna thank you for everything, as well.
For every terrible thing that you did to me and happened to me.
I learn my lesson, I learn what I needed to learn.
Eventhough I learned it all in a hard and agonizing way.
It makes me realize to be more careful and aware of everything around me.
Maybe, somehow I do regret everything.
But at the same time, I would probably say that I'm thankful to know you, to know how it feels to have those things.
Most importantly, to know how to overcome and fight it.
And I must say that it's Okay, 'coz if it's not because of you I'm not who I am today.
I know this is not the end of it.
Because time's still running and life's still on going.
And I know that there'll be more ahead.
I just hope that someday, I'll stop choosing the same things that'll take me back in those traumatizing scenery.
Because if I'll do -- I don't know if I'm still be sane or so, I'm still maybe consumed by you.