Not All The Time, Time Heals

It was almost 10 o'clock in the evening. I can still hear the raindrops all over the place, though I have my earphones. I haven't thought about it for a while, but I guess it's already rainy season. Everything's okay, my life right now seems like a glimpse of time. Everything happens for a reason until it became a memory.

Everyday feels like a battle and I'm in a middle of survival, like how could you be the same person as you were when you know everything's temporary? How can you give you're heart to things that are not meant for you?

I haven't expected to meet people who made me a person I am right now, like how someone creates an impact in my life where I stood up and fall at the same time. When sometimes the vulnerability couldn't take all the risks, that when you realize you've just wasted your life for lies and broken promises.

One writer quoted "sad people write," and I think it's true. That somehow in your life you look back, the chapters that are already done left one of these scars, memories you can't erase cause maybe they're supposed to be there. The truth is, I write because I'm not happy, I'm not sad either. There's nothing in between these lines that could explain how my heart breaks and breaks until I can't feel anything. These emotions are getting through my veins, I overthink, I'm vulnerable.

Sometimes I question myself why I have to be like this, careless and always the one who gives more than anything but doesn't get what I deserve. I couldn't be heartless. Why? Because some things are worth the pain, some things are worth breaking and these moments are worth remembering and yes, it could be painful, but the thing is you'll never know you're happy until it hurts.

If there's one lesson I've learned in life it's that not all the time, time heals. Time could be someone's worst enemy. Time holds memories you can't escape from until it consumes you. Time fleets but it doesn't make you forget. Time? It's just an excuse. The reality of memories is that it cannot be forgotten until all of these heartaches became scars, that's the time when you decided to move on because time won't stop. Time is a clock that ticks, and most of all, time doesn't wait.

Make it all worth remembering.