One moment you were here
Lying with me in my bed when the sun tore apart through the creases of the wall
My eyes silently checked your speckled face flaw
You killed my fluttering butterflies with inches of ascending curve on my lips
Held me tight right gently in your grip
And I could say nothing
And then the next moment you were gone
Leaving stains of coffee cups on my table
And impotent seeds of books that will not grow but lie torn
All your things lie untouched,
Stunted they grow now.
Because I do not water them anymore.
Except your luggage that you took with you
Which you hid quietly away from my sight when you came
Those were times when we actually shared our names
As if assuring me you would never leave
And I believed.
But today those bags came out of the den, staring, mocking at me,
applausing your beautiful art of pretence
And I could say nothing
Why does the dinner seem so pale?
There used to be a hand clutched to my irregular nails
That I bit when I got nervous
And I have worsened and deepened the wound today
For I was nervous and blank when you were about to leave
But in the face I did not show
For I did not want to you to know
And I could say nothing
Thinking about
And every single thing we did
I lighted the fire place and slid within the quilt,
Thought of love when the tower of hatred fell
I wanted to stick to your shoulders and cry, complain for a while then toss the anger aside
I knew there could have been a different end
For the sake of moments that we had spent
But when you did not look at me, nor say a goodbye before you left
A cold indifference crept
Killing hopes of being something
So I could say nothing
And In saying nothing, I lost
You won.
Unknowingly doubting the veracity of love that is now undone.
You seem to be learning to unlove
But my lips still thrive for love songs
That are no more sung
But my silence speaks itself, that
you cannot hear
And you think I'm quiet
Because I say nothing.