They kept running around.
I can hear them.
I can see them.
I can feel them.
Tears are slowing falling.
I am crying.
No one hurt me.
No one cuss at me.
No one pushed me away.
But I am crying.
Because I made myself cry.
I am slowly killing my mind.
No one said I'm useless.
No one said I should die.
No one said I'm nothing on this world.
But I am being insane.
Trying to hurt myself with those words no one even said.
From a small dot. To a circle. That forms another circle. That forms a lot more circle. Way far from the beginning, the dot.
Bigger and bigger circles.
Thoughts of being problematic, being useless, being the reason of everyone's sadness, being the destroyer of everything.
They kept running in my mind.
I can't even think of something good. Not anymore.
I regret to smile.
I stop myself from laughing.
I am killing myself slowly everyday, everynight.
I asked for help.
They came.
But nothing works.
No one hurt me, so no one can help me.
I am drowning from these thoughts, I did myself.
I should swim. I should save myself.
No one can help me.
How will I kill those who are behind my pain, if I am the very cause of these tears?
Does this mean I have to kill myself?
I hate myself for hurting me. But I love me that I can not kill myself.
The worst enemy I have is not the people around me but the person I see in the mirror every morning.