Pain's company

I felt as if darkness we're clinging to me,
And everything I saw was shadowed.
Pain seemed to take on an almost physical form.
Pain knew all my habits, all my haunts, and there was no place I could go he wouldn't find me.
Pain covered me like a blanket, there for me after the beatings when I cried myself to sleep.
Pain greeted me when I walked the halls, when no one else would even acknowledege me.
Pain shared my silent world. He was a constant presence looking at my shoulder. Whenever my spirit groaned from not being free, he reminded me that being utterly alone would be even worse.  His friendship deadened my emotions.  Life began to lass at half speed, living each day was like shouldering a heavy weight, but what choice do I have? 
Life was leaden, but at least it was predictable.
Pain was rough around the edges-not the sort of friend to show off and he didn't want to share me with others.
It was easier to bend to his will.
To stare at the ground instead of other people's eyes.
Life became a series of wanderings through desolate places, and he went with me.
I hated him, yet it seemed he was the only one who refused to leave my side.
He would be my constant companion. There was nothing I could do to change that fact.
I felt altogether alone, so alone that I almost welcomed pain's company.