Progress maybe

I miss you bad. Posting this just so that you can know why I did what I did. I couldn't hurt you more, you had been my soulmate for years, and I could never express. I just miss you. I'm not even that me, that I was when you were around. Your presence gave me confidence. When you were around, I was my best. I apologized but it was too late to gain back your friendship. 

Someday, just as you visit this post, which I know you will , bcz even though I've told you to stay away, you still care. Read this. You always said that I had so many frnds that I didn't pay attention to you, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mistreated you so many times, I shouldn't have messed with your boyfriends, I shouldn't have done any of those things that I did. I swear I didn't hate you. You were always important. You were always the one. I took out all my frustration on you, I bitched on your face, I tried all my pranks with you, I always made fun of you, but since you knew me so well, you should have known, all this was bcz you were the first person I turned to in any damn situation. 

Hey, also I never tried to let you down in academics, I do not know who put that in your mind. I've always told you that I never competed, you should have believed this one yar. You had a complaint that I could appreciate any and everyone but you - I honestly have no explanation for that. Maybe that was how I was with you. 

Anybody could look at us and tell we were friends for life. People came up to me asking, hey she's your best friend na? I never answered. I was shy. Shy of admitting certain things that could make me vulnerable. I should have. But I have improved myself upon that. If we ever meet, you will be really proud of me. I've tried to change everything you didn't like. In the process. I have learnt to appreciate my close ones. I have learnt saying I love you's to people who matter. I have stopped hurting people unnecessarily (not exactly stopped but trying). 

I am sorry, again. I just wish you are happy now that I'm not around. I'm sorry I took you for granted. You need to have your share of happiness and comfort too. I let you go. I wish you have friends who treat you well, who understand you.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️