Self-destruction

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I felt empty. I was empty.
I was left with nothing but void.
It seemed like my body was intact
Yet my heart was torn apart.

Waves of self-pity hit me all at once
And drowning myself was easier
Than swimming back to the shore.
So, I indulged myself in it.

He may have thrown me into the ocean,
But it is I who decided to stay underwater.
I chose to be his casualty.
Just a subtle way to self-destruct.

-mpoemsible

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mpoemsible -

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Mikki Leo

3 years ago

hi michii. I love your poem. I am a violent crime survivor, victims' advocate, and public speaker. I agree with your standpoint now, but i didn't always feel as i do now. I think there's a process that "victims" must go thru - very like grieving - in order to be at peace and become stronger after an incident. I don't think anyone walks away from a rape or murder attempt immediately saying "I'm a survivor.". but i also agree 100 percent that eventually we all have a choice to make - are we going to stay stuck in a victim mentality, or evolve into a survivor, with so much wisdom to share

mpoemsible -

3 years ago

Hi Mikki! Glad to hear your thoughts on this. Grieving took a long time for me. Even up to now, I still see flashes of it. And I believe it's different for each of us. At the end of the day, we have to make a choice though. I'm glad I did. I'm glad I didn't press that self-destruct button.

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