She was so tired, exhausted, and feeling drained. Like there is a pit in her stomach sucking or maybe a black hole eating her on the inside; it makes her want to throw up. Did she also mention her head fucking hurts so much she wanted to cut her head off.
And she can't do anything about it but cry the pain out.
But crying wasn't enough, it exhaust her even more. She started craving to destroy things, wreck things. She wanted to cut herself, hurt herself, draw blood so that she can feel numb and nothing.
But she was a good girl. She can't be bad. She can't afford to do so. So she won't do anything.
Her mentality hurts bloody painful.
She got up.
Grabbed a glass.
Got some powdered milk.
Added three spoonful of the powdered milk into the glass.
Poured a hot water, at least 300 ml of it.
Stir.
She waited until she can handle the heat. She waited until the hot milk pained her tongue no more.
She waited until she can drink it straight.
Then she head over to the bed.
Lie over it.
Staring into space she finally decided to close her eyes.
The pain hasn't subside.
It's still there.
Slowly she's drowning in her sleep.
Slowly she forget the pain.
Sleep escape.
Sweet.
But the pain is still there.
When she wake.