Still

I asked you not to smoke,
but you sucked and blew cigars like a pro.
The wind travelled and I had a nose.
You were not my oxygen,
And yet, I chose to breathe you in.

I asked you not to cheat,
but you held and treated her like she's fragile.
The tables had eyes, and so did my friends.
You were not my surgeon,
But still, with you, I patched up my broken trust.

I asked you not to lie,
But you denied and kept secrets like how the dead does.
Baby, the walls had ears, and I had my little birds.
You were not my change,
But still, I took you back.

I begged you to love me, too,
And you said I didn't need to ask.
You only took me for granted,
But still, I believed.

So I asked you to stay instead,
Then you left.
You never actually cared,
And yet, I let you take my heart.

It makes me wonder.
If I did not ask, would you have cared?
If I did not beg, would you have stayed?

Now it's too late for what ifs.
The moment you walked away,
For you, there was no turning back.

Yet I stayed,
And waited,
And hoped,
And wished,
And dreamed.
I prayed for you to return.
But still, you didn't.