Subjugating Quandary with Leniency

          Disoriented for eons, mankind is in constant motion in pursuit of a wrong destination. Apparently, there appears to be a solution to stop such futile cavalcade.

          Humans, though individually unique and are distinct as to beliefs and values they hold dear, are all but strongly tied to each other by an invisible string. This string comes in different forms and whose movement is motivated by a force that is also unseen, yet more than capable of imposing effects to our lives on a day-to-day basis: love. Love should be beautiful. It should be celebrated, for it is the common denominator amongst the infinite differences that suggest human separation. However, it can also bring pain even to the “loved” person, a damage which sometimes demands retribution.

          It is ironic how the very same string that binds us and is supposed to make us stronger as we become interdependent to one another can also severe bonds with just a single mistake that has caused damage to the life of another. The fact that we are somewhat connected brings with it the possibility of disconnection triggered by the conduct of an inappropriate action. Nonetheless, it is to be understood that the reaction of people would also vary depending on whom carried out the wrong deed and the intensity of the mistake. When a stranger takes our wallet for example, the initial reaction would be to condemn him and sometimes, even file a complaint to a police station; but when a family member does the same, we try to listen first and more often than not, we choose to simply forgive and understand. Of course, a different reaction can be had for a grave sin, regardless of whom committed it. This is the usual course of action most people take and can be seen by mere observation. However, when faced with a dilemma on whether to forgive or seek vengeance, there’s no such thing as the law of life, for our decisions are all governed by carte blanche. Hence, the act of forgiving is not a requirement but an art founded on the depths of our heart’s ability to love and to just understand.

          Forgiveness also requires a great deal of faith, not just in our own capacity to heal but also in the other person who has wronged us, that he/she, once forgiven, would deviate from committing the same mistake that was done. Apparently, mastering an art has never been easy, just like how forgiving will forever be a challenging step to take. Oftentimes, it is not just a question of willingness for there are other external factors that intervene with the desire to absolve and just let things be. One of these is the social condition. With several advancements in the world today, people have gained more means to connect resulting to an increase in reasons to avoid personal encounters. This manifests in the decision of a teenager to put her headphones on instead of listening to the stories of her parents at home. And it is quite funny how a thin single piece of glass could formulate conniving traps. This has led me to realize that sometimes, when we try to overcome our separateness with people beyond our reach, we unknowingly create an unspeakable distance to those who are already within our reach. Due to this modernization, resolving things through a peaceful talk became a much harder task to do; for these days, there only exists a few who would be willing to listen.

          These advancements have also taught us how to be impatient, which would appeal to those who stand on the opposite side of the line. Nowadays, almost everything can be accessed in an instant thereby, whenever we want something, we also want it in a tick of the clock, even the desire to be forgiven. We became hardwired to look for a quick fix that we sometimes forget how to properly make amends. Saying sorry alone is not enough for a wrongdoing which can’t be reversed, but carrying out what can still be done in the present should be adequate to correct a past error and to somehow ease the pain of the other person.

          None of us are perfect. Everyone makes mistakes and carries the same possibility of inflicting pain to anyone they may encounter. But the very core of forgiveness and retribution can simply be understood by analyzing two different viewpoints: those of who have been wronged and those of who did wrong. Just because someone else has done a person wrong does not make the latter entitled to getting revenge from the former nor redirecting his negative emotions to another person. This will only perpetuate the wrong cycle. Catharsis is an acceptable means of relieving oneself from the pain but this does not necessarily have to be in the form of retaliation. It is true that we can seek for retribution when even justice which speaks through the constitution itself so condemns an act; but for certain deeds that are not even punishable by law, who are we to condemn such act for eternity? We might be forgetting the fact that even the creator showed mercy on us.

          Forgiveness takes time. After all, it depends largely on the depth of the wound. Be that as it may, one thing is for sure: for as long as we hold the hatred inside us, healing would take longer than what it should have been. Most people hold the belief that to forgive is to be vulnerable but forgiving, in reality, makes a person invincible. Through it, we let go of what was done and accept what can still be done.

         The choice is yours to make for there is only one question that remains: would you step inside the battlefield and fight with fury and rage or would you rather give up your pride and be the bigger person in the problem who would choose to reconcile in order to prevent a bloodbath beforehand?

           Perhaps the most formidable enemy that we will have to face is not our fellowmen who simply bear the weapon to a war that hasn’t even started yet. Instead, it is the monster that’s lurking in the back of our minds which constantly puts us in a quandary. The persons who love us are the very same persons who face the greatest risk of getting hurt by us; but the ones whose love are the greatest are the ones who always choose to forgive in place of demanding repayment for a damage that has already been done.