Sweet wave

So, i guess it is already sunday...Time goes so fast... I have already lost track of it so many times... Too many times. At least here you can't feel anything, there is nothing to feel, my emotions,with time, have already disapeard. I wish i had never went here.

I remeber everything, sadly, i remeber it all. I honestly whish i couldn't. I wish it would all go away, and never came back. 

I still remember that monday, that monday night, like it was yesterday. Sweet times i must say.I never have thought that my curiosity could made me end up like this. Gess faith is bigger than i though, cruel also.

It was a monday night, i was 16 years old, on 11 grade and i think it was january. On those times i lived in a small island called ''strabwist''.I just had come back from school, i was so happy, i just had the best time with my friends, and secretely couldn't stop thinking about that boy who i was in love for over 3 years...yeah, we could say it was a long time crush. He had the most dazzling eyes and heart, he was perfect, at least for me. I really loved him.

As i was saying, i had come back home, i had to studdy for wendsday's chemestry exam, wich i wasn't really found of, because i definatelly suck at it, i mean, math it is as horrible as it can get and to make things worst there had to be chemestry, but none of that its important now. I went to my room and i found this giant box laying on my bed. I was alone and scared. My mom wouldn't pick up the phone no matter how many times i would try to call her. I just took a breath and went to get a pair of scissors and slowly oppend it. 

To my suprise it was just a giant box with a small card on it. I was so confused. Was it a prank? Is it something important ? I couldn't help myself and i opened the card, it said:

'' it is futile to run from who you are

                                                                   -6572924''

Once again i was shocked, not scared, but chocked, only because i knew what it meant.

Chapter Two

I couldn´t belive my eyes, i couldn´t belive he was in town. Those numbers meant 'Felix' wich was a nickname for my long time friend named Francis. Felix in latin means happy, and he was the happiest person ever so i though that his original name didn´t corespond to his personallity (quite silly, i know).

As a glazed back to the card i could see in small letters saying:

'Meet me tomorrow at sky's shop, i will be there all day. Please show up, i really need to talk to you'

I couldn´t stop wondering, what did he want to talk about? At the time i didn't give much importance to that, i studdied a bit and went to bed, but still sleeping was very hard, i was so curious but also worried, what could have gotten into him to make such serious request? Was i over-reacting? 

That was just the beginig of my end.

After going to school i runned to sky's shop, and i was astonished, he was so tall. He had brown hair and green eyes, just as i remembered. But there was something missing, no matter what, that boy always smiled, even for slightest things. The only time i saw him crying was when he was saying goodbye to me and my friends, it was so painfull. His parents got an awsome job offer, but unfortunatelly they had to go to another contry, wich i can´t remeber it's name, it was quite an unusual name... It was 4 years ago. I really missed him.

When he spotted me, he hardly smiled. I could spot worry in his eyes and sadness. What happend to him?

-Suzie! Over here!-Said Felix.

- Hi Felix! Long time no see, why are you here?

- Sorry for the short notice, i... i am so sorry Suzie, i shouldn't have brought you into this... i am so... so...

- What are you talking about?? Is this a joke? What do you mean by bringing me to this??? Felix answer me!!

-... I told them everything about you...

- You... what??? Are you out of your mind???

- They told me if i told them everything i would earn half a million dollars, i was so weak, so desesperat. You have to run, i didn't told them all, but they know enought. Tomorrow they are going to get you. I have a plan, you have to follow it by heart, no mistakes could be donne.

- You were the only one i trusted Felix! My best friend! 

- I'm so sorry... i really am! I screwd up Suzy! I know i did! But we have no choise, you will die if you don't trust me again!! Please, trust me! i can't loose you, i can't loose everything i..

Suddentely my friend Hanna comes into the shop and says:

-Susy, can you come here for a sec?

I looked at Feliz and nooded, he came closer to me and wisperd:

'You know what to do, just remeber our old times and our original plan for this situation, please forgive me'

I said bye and went to talk to Hanna. I acted quite like nothing important had happend. She had some doubts about some stupid exercise. I couldn´t really concentrate on that right now, i was scared and terrified. 

I wasn´t ready, i was too young.

And damn i so was right, i was too young, too imature, and i still am. But belive it or not, it was not only felix fault, it was also my fault.

Chapter Three

I was packing my things, i left my phone, pc and all that envolves tecnologie behind. I knew i couldn´t bring them, i would be easily targeted. I brought some clothes, aid kits, knifes ,an axe and a map. Even though i didn´t quite know how to read it, i brought it anyway. I left a letter saying goodbye to my wonderfull family. I was so sad that i had to leave my mother, father and younger brother. At least in this way i would be able to say goodbye to them, if they came, i would vanish forever, nothing left behind, i wouldn't forgive myself for not have riten this letter. Still, athough, i had made the right choise, i still wanted to stay, not to have to run away, not to have to belive that this was really happening. 

It was tuesday morning, i hid my things on my backpack and of course i didn´t bring any pencils or books. It wasn´t necessary. My mom didn´t even noticed, for her it was just a regular day. I kissed her on the cheeck and told her i loved her. I left quietly.

On my way to school, i couldn´t stop thinking about what if something went wrong? I knew i had to focous on the present, not on the future, although that was almost impossible to me.

I entered my classroom, it was 8 am, my colegues were waving at me, i just smiled and waved back.I was waiting for the clock to turn 9. One thing i didn´t mention that he said. He said that at 10 am they would come to my school and take me with them. Nobody knows where and quite why. I was waiting, sitting on my desk for 10 am to come.

I looked at the clock and it was 5 to 10, i standed up and just looked out of the window, Felix was there. I know it was time. The teacher yells for me to sit down. My friends asked me what i was doing. I looked to my teacher with an fainted smile and said:

'Thank you for all this nonesense. You see, i have been thinking. Everyone says that humans can´t fly. I gess you guys have to step it up a little.'

I laughted and jumped out of the window. I couldn't remember the last time Felix and i had donne this. I was free, if something went wrong he was there to catch me. Luckely i still remebered the plan, he would on the lower floor and he would catch me so in this way they would think i had killed myself and the secret would vannished forever. But a little more of practise would have been helpfull.

As i was down bellow, i could see my classroom at the 8th florr, and my friends, not beliving their eyes, staring at ground searching for my body. I was hidding, their faces where really suprising, i never thought that they would be so sad.

Has i landed felix asked me if i was ready, i said yes. I was still mad at him, but i needed to trust him.

As we were running on the streets i asked him:

- Do they know about you?

-No.

-Are you sure?

He suddentely stoped and pulled me to an alley and told me:

-They only wanted to know about you, i was nothing to them. 

-What are you hidding from me Felix? 

-Hun?

-Tell me the truth 

He looked about to cry, i was almost crying as well.

- When my parents moved, they knew i knew me. They hid me on this house for 2 years, after moths of torture they treathen my family and you. I had to tell them, they said if i told them i would be free. They just let me got because i din´t show them what i was able to do, and trust me i had to control myself quite a lot. It's hell down there, its just white plain walls, whith other people like us. We were devided by levels of danger that you cuold represent to the society. It went up until level 7 (wich is the highest). I was level 1. I rather told them a bit about you, and be able to save you in time, then to let you die, for nothing.

- Felix i...

- We have to go now.

-Sure.

I was speachless, why would they to that? isn´t that too cruel? Aren't we humans after all?? My mind was in a war. Was he telling all of the truth? should i trust him? Is he the same Felix i knew? I needed an awser for them, i was so blind back then.

We kept moving. We went trough some shortcuts and ended up on an abandoned house, it was were we were going to stay for quite some time. We would come to this house when we were little to play. He was my best friend.

Its was getting darker so we decide to go to sleep, and when we were already cosy and warm, i asked him:

-Do you think we will ever be able to live a normal life again?

He painfully said:

-I don't belive so Suzy.

All my hopes died after that. It was the first thing i had lost forever.

Chapter Four

The sun was shinning, so bright, i couldn´t really belive that Felix was were. Although he fucked up (sorry for my language), we was still my friend. He suffered a lot.I felt pitty for him. I was feeling bad, because he was suffering for me. He was suffering because of me. 

But i must say, his plan wass pretty good.

I just had woken up and i looked at the window and saw him standing there, staring at the streets and looking worried. He was deffenately not telling me everything. I asked him:

-What now?

-Hun?..Ha... you are awake, did you sleep well? 

-Yeah... So, what do we do know?

-I do not know.

- Hun? You told me you had a plan!

-Yeah, i kinda had, but can you see those cameras? (he points at a camera that was on top of a building, far far away)

-Oh, i didn´t know there was this kind of survailence here. Don´t worry about it. It must be broken or something.

-You are probabely right.

I smilled and said:

-It´s going to be okay 

I came closer to him and said:

-I am officialy starving. Let´s have some fun, shall we?

He laughts and say:

-You always know how to cheer me up Suzy.

We packed our stuff and decided to look for an local shop. We didn´t have money, so we had to steal. We found this shop called 'Mary treat news shop 2'. I always wondered where Mary treat news shop 1 was. After one year i came to the conclusion that it never exixted. Don´t ask me why. Moving on, we went inside the store, but something strange was going up, while we were heading up to the shop. 

The once crowded streed, seemed like an desert. No one was to be found, and to our suprise, the shop was oppend and nobody was there. I guess it was the easiest robbery ever. We got everything that we needed, but i still was so confused. What was going on? Did they evacuated the place? Were we crazy? 

I look over at Felix, he was staring at the shops window and suddentely said:

-Suzy....SUZY RUN!

We left the shop and started running. I couldn´t understand why. Why was i running? Are we beeing chaced?? We got to an house with an tree house and we hid ourselfs there. I was really tired, running wasn´t and still isn´t my speciality and i asked him:

- Who or what the heack are we running from?

-I can´t tell you right know

-Are you kidding me Felix? I am supposed to trust you and you hide things away from me? Why did everyone vanished?why?

I was so annoing back then. He calmely said:

-I will explain you whe the time comes, just keep quiet.

We ended up staying there for hours. He didn´t look like him anymore, who was he? 

Out of the blue he said:

- I really, really missed you back then.

His face was overloading with pure sadness. i stayed quiet.

- I have been tortured for 4 years, my mom and dad died, my friends died. At least you dind't. God, i should have died rather than... than telling them. Keep you safe.

-No felix...

-After all this you still call me Felix (he smiled). It may not like like, but i´m so happy for beeing here with you.

He came closer and closer, looked straight into my eyes and said:

-Since the first day we met i.. had to say something to you. And now no friend of ours could stop me from saying it. Since the very first day we met, i...

I wished i had heard the rest. I looked like i was awake but somehow i lost my conciousness. I could only hear a loud thin noise. It fealt like my ears were going to explode. I came back to my senses and started screaming and fainted on the ground. I could only remenber his face scared by the tears that runned trhough his cheeks. 

Chapter Five

I woke up on this red carpet, i was on this white room, with nothing more that a red fluffy carpet. I tried to look for Felix. He was nowhere to be found. i found myself without shoes.There was this door. I decided to wait, and not to open it, in hopes that he would unlock it and explain why i was there. I was just really hopping that it was prank.

I waited an waited an waited untill i was sick of it,i had to open it. I moved towards it and it was unlocked. I saw felix sitting on a chair. It was at the middle of the room. The room was white just like mine, and floor was made of wood. There was only this chair in the room. Was he dead? 

I came closer to him and said:

-Felix...

He opened his eyes an laughted saying:

-Suzy, i fucking tried. I really did.

-What are you saying?

He came closer to me and said:

-They got us.

-What? When? Where are we?

He starts crying and says:

-I failed to save you.

-It's okay, i didn´t hear what you wanted to tell me. So what is it?

-You still didn´t get it?-He said smiling- Comon Suzy, is it so hard to see. I love you with all of my heart since the day i met you. When you met me at sky's you were so pretty, my heart was beating so loud, i couldn´t belive you didn´t hear it.

He comes closer and he softly and carefully touches my chin and lifts it up to his diretion and says:

-You are everything to me. I couldn´t aford to loose you. I love you Suzy. 

-I...

He grabs my arms and pushes me towards him and we were about to kiss when someone in a black suit appears and says:

- Francis, remember me?-he laughts loudly- oh i see.... is she the one? they told me she would be more....well, you did a terible job trying to hide from us.

You could see the anger on his look. I asked the strange men:

-Who are you?

He laughed and looked at me with an arrongant face and told me:

-Your worst nightmare.

He leaves. But he didn´t leave through the door, there was no door. He went through the wall. I was astonished. Felix was still grabing my arms and he was so close to me, i could feel his warmth. He looked scared and schock. He let me go and went to check the wall. He looked kind of silly. He trully was astonished, he looked at me and said:

-It is some sort of hallogram, can you take it down?

-I can try.

I did manage to take it down and it wasn´t really hard. On the other side there was this boy, he looked familiar. His brown hair and and blue eyes didn´t leave me with a single doubt. It was Ethan. He was the boy that i had a crush in school. I was paralysed, what was he doing here? I runned up to him and asked him if he was okay, he looked at me and said:

-....Suzy? Where am i? I just remember looking for you after you disappeerd and then something hit me and i found myself in here.

-You went looking for me, didn´t you think i was dead?

I was going to blush, but i knew i couldn´t, i couldn't show emocions so that they can't use it against me later. He said:

-After you jumped, i thought you were gone forever....So i just went looking for you. It couldn´t be true.

-Oh... I'm fine you don't have to really worry about it.

I smiled, and i could see in the coner of my eye Felix looking 'posessed' by jealousy. He imediately interupted the conversation and told me:

-Well, we sould get going. I think this is a maze, we need to find food and water, and there are probably many more people here.

-You are right-Said Ethan- Let´s get going.

I could see Felix was a bit upseat. I think i had once told him that i had a crush on him. He must be pissed of. But we kept moving and later, we found a room with water and other supplements. On one of the rooms i could see this 3 backpacks and a smal box with markers. We decided that from now on we would write on the walls a number to identify the rooms. Just like in that movie which i can´t remenber it´s name. After we went trought,none stop, 150 room we found a room with an elevator. We got in and there was 2 buttons, one said up and the other said down. Felix pressed up.

While we were on the elevator Felix asked to Ethan:

-I belive we haven´t me yet, what´s your name?

-Ethan- He replied

-Suzy talked about you.

I couldn´t belive, he still remembered.

-She did?-Ethan replied

- That is not important for now!- I said- We need to find out how to get out of here.

-Yeah, i guess you are right-Said Felix.

It took 15 awkward minutes for the elevator to stop. I didn´t have a watch with me , but somehow i could be pretty accurated with time guessing. I do trust my instincts.

The doors of the elevator opened and we saw this room with a huge screen and the moment we entered the room, a video started playing. They had recorded our every move. and the worst part was that they replayed the scene when Felix was almost kissing me. I could see pain on Ethan's eyes. He said with bitterness on his voice:

-You should have told me that this dickhead was your boyfriend.

-You called me what?- Said Felix with anger in his voice.

-You heard me.

The athmosfere was so tense. It was even harder to breath. I didn´t know what i felt anymore. I was confused. To lighten up the mood a little bit, i said:

-Look over there, there seems to be more water over there. I could really use a drink.

I started walking towards it an suddently i heard that huge thin noise again. I screamed and collapsed, i only remember 2 men lifting me up. They were wearing black suits. That´s all i could remember.

Chapter Six

I was even afraid to open my eyes. Where is Felix? What is going on?

I eventually opened my eyes and found myself in some kind of jail with felix lying on the floor besides me. I woke him up. He asked me:

-Wha...Where....Where are we now?

-I.. I don't know.

-Listen Suzy, i need to know, do you love me?

He came closer to me and asked:

-Do you love me?

I didn´t know what to say, i didn´t even know what to feel. In the meanwhile he lained forward and kissed me. It was the longest kiss of my life. Before i could interrupt it, the jails door opened and Ethan run out to me and broke us apart with all the stengh that he had. He held Felix on the wall and yelled  at him saying:

-What the fuck do you think you are doing? I know all about you. Suzy you can´t trust him!! He is not who you think he is! He...

Suddentely all we could hear this gunshot, it was so loud. It went right through Ethan's head. I was almost going to cry, but i knew, i can´t show any emotions, or they would know that i was affected by it. I had to be strong. 

I looked at his face while he was falling on the ground, i felt like they took everything from me. I was pissed off, angry. I looked at Felix's face. His face was covered in blood. His face showed no expression at all. And this is the part that shocked me, his eyes were overloading with happiness. And then, right then, it all came back to me. 

Why was he the first person that i would always find when i woke up? Why didn´t he collapsed as well? Why did ethan said that? Why did he called him an dick head even though he didn´t knew him? Why did he came looking for me when he never had talked to me? Why was he killed when he wanted to say something about his identity not beeing what i though?Was this Felix? Who was the man standing right next to me? What has really happend when felix was here? And manly, why did he made me belive that we were chased when we weren´t beeing chased at all?

I hear a laugh. I look over and i see the men that we first met when we arived here. He said:

-We don´t tolerate fights in here. Behave yourself Francis.

He leaves laughing. I droped on my knees next to Ethan´s body and stared at him. I couldn´t belive he was relly dead. Felix said:

-What was going on with him? Is he crazy?

I didn´t awser, i no longer trusted Felix, and that was the time when i lost my capability of trusting, and it probably it was for the better. It made me stronger, belive it or not.

Chapter Seven

I still couldn´t belive that they would do all that just to know my secret. I knew it could change humanity forever, but why to kill people? Why did they need to kill Ethan? 

So many questions that were left to awser. Unfortunately it was only the begining of my blindness towards the reality. I was such an weak mind, controled by anger, curiosity and love. They make you blind, so when i started loosing emotions, i wasn't so worried, because i knew that in this situation ,that would actually benefit me. I needed to survive.

I decided not to make a big scene out of it, to pretend everything was okay and that i didn't know what was going on and that i belived and loved Felix. I needed to know how far was he lying to me and what really happend. By that time, i had come to the conclusion that no one would direcly give the answers, so i had to play the part, to think the unthinkable and to experience the imaginable. I had to fit in.

After a few hours i still haven´t spoken to felix, he was sitting on the floor, he gave me the impression that he didn't know what to do, he seemed lost in his thoughts. I sitted next beside him.He said:

-I am sorry. I can't find enough words to tell you how sorry i am. I...

-You don't have to find them. I get it, it was not your fault. 

-Suzy i...

-Maybe it was supposed to be that way, we need to move on, we need to get out of here Felix.

-I agree...

We got up, the jail's door was still opened, we got out as fast as we could and found ourselfs running trought this almost endless hallway when suudently I nottice this strange sound, it was so familiar, it was the sound that made me colapsed. I had to learn how to overcame it without them noticing. I tried to supresse it, and prettended to scream and to colapse. I don't know why, but know it was so easy to overcome it. What i heard next, was not what i expected. I heard Felix say:

-Suzy, are you there? Can you hear me?

Then, i heard footsteps coming towards me and i heard this thick voice that said:

-Did she resist to it?

-No, still no progress-Said Felix.

-You are not following the plan, are you sure you triggered her emotions and made her forget some? She must be incensitive.

-I know that damn it! She has lost some, yes. What else do you want from me? I did everything according to the plan! 

-Listen you arrogant boy, kissing her was NOT in the plan, that scene that you made earlier was NOT in the plan, telling her that you love her was defenately NOT in the plan! You just had to make trust go and also love and many others, and only to leave anger, frustacion and hate. 

-We are all going to die, i needed to tell her how i felt, i needed for her to know.

-Sure... whatever lies you want to tell yourself. Just bring her to the next floor and begin stage 5 immediately.

-Yes sir.

Was this true?Did he realy loved me? I felt like an idiot. Men... i didn´t know what to do. I knew i could easily get out of there, but i would prove them that i owned the secret. I just wanted to cry, to break down. I wanted to shout, scream , say that even thought i knew this huge secret i was still a fucking human beeing, i needed someone.

Writting this is so fucking hard. But what can i do? I need you to know what happend to me, because i really doubt that i will last much longer.

Chapter Eight

So, i woke up once again in somewere unknown. I was so tired, so sick of it. 

This time the room was pitch black. There were no lights. I was tired, i was giving up, but i heard a voice. It was Felix's voice:

-Suzy where are you?

I didn't want to answer...I was so over it, But i answered it anyway:

-Here.

-This is the dark room. They put you here, for you to think about your darkest regrets, you darkest secrets so that they could easily extract something from you. They know you are tuff, but i know you can´t hold it any longer. I know you are giving up.

-Hun? How..

-I was here once. There is a secret to this, and i found out something impressive.

-What?

-Here they can´t hear you. They can´t see you. I gave up milions of times in this room and what i told out loud would make this all over, but they didn´t hear it, they don´t know about it. What i am trying to say is that this is a safe room. So now i can tell you the real truth.

I felt him next beside me. I told him:

-You know i can supress the noise.

-I know.

-Why did you tell him otherwise?

-If they knew you could do it, they would use something worst, and i wanted for you to stay awake. I needed for you to hear that conversation.

-Are you crazy? I ... I hate you Felix. Do you even love me? How can i trust you if you brought me here? Ethan is dead Felix, DEAD! I´m fucking breaking down, and i want to trust you but i can´t. Felix, what has really happened?

-Suzy...

-Tell me!

-I can´t..

-WHY NOT? WHY THE HELL NOT?DIND´T YOU SAID THIS WAS A 'SAFE ROOM'?

-I don´t want you to get really hurt. They are more capable than you think.

-Felix, i had enought, i´m leaving tomorrow.

He laughted for 5 minutes, and after it he said:

-Are you serious? Do you relly think you can escape? 

-You´ll see.

-Ok... you will see for yourself. They are wreackless. They will use all against you. You will kill youself! Suzy, please don´t do anything stupid.

-Sorry Felix.

I was so determinated to go, to run that i couldn´t see the real issue. My head hurts, my body hurts. I guess that's the price of beeing bold. They take all of your emotions and leave only pain, anger and frustacion. 

To be continued......

Thanks for reading, i hope you enjoyed it. :)