Thank You Past

Hey, it's been 4 months since you left. It's been four months that I've been longing for your presence, longing for your voice that gave me assurance from my pity-self worries, longing to stare in your eyes that has that magic to make me fall more.

It's been 4 months and you know what, it hurts. It really does.

I waited patiently for your chat even if I have to open my social media account for whole day and check on the message corner almost every minute. Not to mention that I am not even sure when you will have a signal and internet. And when you had, I am so happy when you said that you were fine. The heavy burden of worry in my heart became light as feather. I told you that I am so happy because you have reached your dream. You took many minutes to reply on my chats but it's okay for me. I want to understand you that is why I let it pass. Our time zones were totally different. I was able to sleep on or past midnight hoping you'll send a message to me. It doesn't bother me.

I knew you have adjusted on your workplace now. A friend told me that you can send and email because it was available in your workplace so I told you that. Guess what? You only sent one email to me throughout those four months. One email. Are you really that busy? Maybe. I hope you always take care of yourself.

I sent you updates of what's happening to me almost everyday but when you got online, you never reacted on my stories. You did not even read them so I stop sending them. The cycle goes on and on. Me waiting for you and you not giving time for me. Until I got tired. I got tired of waiting you to message me. I got tired of trying to understand you and I got tired of loving you.

Though I am very thankful for all of that. I felt so thankful that you are not there when I felt like the world is crashing down on me. Thank you that even if you have the means to contact me, you choose not to. Why? Because I've met the true love of my life. The one who gives time for me even if I did not asked him to, the one who listen to all of my stories even if it's nonsense at all and the one who makes me feel so loved. Thank you because if what happened between us did not actually happened, I will not be here to where I am right now. It is then there is really a reason for everything.