That little secret hurts a lot

I am a very strong person and I never gave any space for tender things like love, affection. I don't allow someone very easily into my life and I also didn't allow you very easily. You came as a teammate, well wisher, a friend and even more than that. You are genuine, honest, respectful, caring,patient, funny. I really like you. It took almost a year for me to understand you well. When you said about your feelings for me and even though I felt the same way I had some insecurities that were limiting me to reciprocate my feelings for you. I thought you would leave me soon but u were with me and tried to understand and comfort me. You let me open up things that I wouldn't have shared with others. You were really caring. But I did not understand you and that was a biggest mistake. When I didn't trust you, you were with me but when I trusted you deeply, I lost you unfortunately. I would say this is nobody's fault but I am the greatest loser. May be we are not destined together. May be we should end up like this. The last 5 days that I shared with you were the most wonderful moments. It helped me to explore my other side which otherwise I would have not done. I really did some cool stuffs with you. But it hurts me when it ended very soon. You are really a compatible partner to me. You are really a special one and I really miss you♥️♥️♥️

Don't worry I will be strong as always. You are a very important person in my life's journey.

Sometimes when I think of you, I feel- 

Its not bad to take a chance at love. 

Its not wrong to feel vulnerable sometimes

Its not wrong to leave my hard feminine part down sometimes

Its not wrong to choose a partner. 

Its not wrong to feel being single sucks. 

Its not wrong to forego my ego, self centredness, loneliness to share my space with an amazing person like you.