The Day of the Wedding

One of my closest and dearest friends married the most wonderful girl, aka the love of his life, a couple months ago (yes, you're right, I'm quite late in giving this to them). 

As the groom himself put it, it was a wedding of a lifetime. 

So, because this is the only way I know how to show love, and to possibly understand it myself, I wrote this story for my two friends who are now husband and wife.

The story you’re about to read is mostly fictional and takes place on the day of the wedding, told entirely through the text message exchange (or WhatsApp messages if you want to be specific) between the bride and the groom throughout the day. 

#UDNottsEsh Thank you for inviting me to be a part of an unforgettable weekend. It’s a story I’ll cherish forever.

Now here’s a story for you…

8.13am

Bride: Awake?

No response.

10.14am

Groom: Just woke up. I think. Did I sleep? Not sure. You?

No response.

11.44am

Bride: Yeah. First I couldn't sleep, and now that I did sleep, I don't remember it. That shouldn't count.

Groom: The sun is in my eyes.

Bride: Then close the curtains.

Groom: I can't move.

Bride: Then embrace the sun.

Groom: Also there are no curtains. Actually, there's no wall or window here either.

Bride: Are you out in the desert?

Groom: I seem to have woken up in the bed in the open verandah.

Bride: hahaha. Fun night eh.

Groom: Yeah. Met this pretty girl. I'm gonna marry her someday.

Bride: That day is today, you lucky bastard.

Groom: I know it sounds stupid now, but I always assumed that we'd have a full night's sleep before our wedding day.

Bride: haha that wouldn't be us now, would it? We just can't be that chill.

Groom: Speak for yourself! I think I've been pretty chill throughout.

Bride: Tell that to the new micro lines of stress on your face. Those only get firmer you know.

Groom: hmm.

Bride: Hungover?

Groom: Nah. That only happens when I sleep after being drunk, which I don't think I have in like... 3 days? Plus, I've kept a solid 7 out of 10 buzz since yesterday. Trust in the system.

Bride: Really. What if I show up to your room right now with a bottle of Jager. Can your system handle that?

Groom: I... uh I'm not wearing any clothes.

Bride: Ah. So we can skip the strip poker.

Groom: I don't think the bride and the groom are supposed to see each other before the ceremony.

Bride: Maybe we start a new tradition.

Groom: Maybe.

Bride: Ugh my sister's saying it's time for me to get ready. This is deja teja feja Vu. How is it always time for me to get ready!

Groom: Does that mean that I'm supposed to get ready too?

Bride: Perhaps. You and I do seem to be hitting the same party spots these last couple days.

Groom: I don't want to wear clothes. This feels right. On a complete unrelated note, I am unable to move my arms.

Bride: Relax. If I have to start getting ready now then you probably have another 45 minutes.

Groom: That's a lot of time to kill.

Bride: My Jager offer is still on the table. And my room is only like 75 steps away from your room. I had my sister count. In case I change my mind at the end of the night.

Groom: What if we did that?

Bride: Did what? Got drunk? Or changed our minds?

Groom: Just hung out. Together. Just you and me. And none of the 250 people we invited to this weekend long destination wedding. Just us. And that bottle of Jager.

Bride: I never liked the word destination. Sounds grim. Like it's the end of something.

Groom: Seems like it's the end of privacy because I'm pretty sure there are 8 people in my room right now... and I only know about half of them.

Bride: Shush I'm fantasizing about that thing you said. Just you and me for the whole day. That sounds... free.

Groom: Yes!

Bride: What would we do with all this free time?!

Groom: Sleep?

Bride: Yes! And eat everything on the menu.

Groom: What about all these people though? They did travel all this way because we asked them to.

Bride: Did you see all the fun they were having last night at the cocktail party? They may not even miss us.

Groom: hmm. Just you and me for a whole day... do you know what that sounds like?

Bride: no because it should be "you and I".

Groom: (eyeroll) It sounds like every day of our life starting tomorrow.

Bride: hmm. Yeah. You're right. Fine. I guess we can do this as planned then.

Groom: See you at the haldi in a few then?

Bride: Are we supposed to see each other at the haldi?

Groom: You know... I'm not really sure. But it's happening at the same venue so I don't see an elaborate plan to keep us apart.

Bride: Okay then. Oh, by the way, have to tell you something...

Groom: What?

No response.

4.30pm

Bride: hey. Sup.

Groom: what 'sup'? Tell me the thing you were gonna tell me earlier!

Bride: I... don't remember.

Groom: Nice.

Bride: So. Sup.

Groom: Sipping a beer. Enjoying the last few hours of singledom. You know how it is.

Bride: Sure sure. Same here. Although my drink is a mimosa.

Groom: Look at us, two single people, sipping drinks, looking at the same sunset.

Bride: Sun won't set for another two hours but I catch your drift.

Groom: Sorry. Had my sunglasses on.

Bride: So I hear you got your clothes ripped off at the haldi?

Groom: Shredded. My kurta is now several pieces of independent cloth.

Bride: how? Why? Who?

Groom: You should see the other guys.

Bride: haha I'm fine.

Groom: How was your haldi?

Bride: Flawless. Magical. On schedule.

Groom: Four words that describe my future wife perfectly.

Bride: Ah! Flirting! When was the last time we did that...

Groom: We? I don't see much flirting coming this way...

Bride: I'm about to spend 2 hours getting dressed and dolled up to marry a boy I've known for a decade... How much more flirtatious can I get?

Groom: I thank you for accepting my proposal.

Bride: You're welcome.

6.30pm

Groom: Let's play a wager.

Bride: What kind of wager?

Groom: Between the two of us, whoever wells up first tonight, takes 5 shots after the wedding.

Bride: Why would I cry?

Groom: Clearly you aren't ready to experience the gloriousness that is me in my wedding sherwani.

Bride: Bitch please. I helped you pick it out. I've seen it more than you.

Groom: Oh. Right. But of course you haven't seen me wearing the whole ensemble. Your eyes are not ready for what they are about to see.

Bride: You'll crack first. I have no doubt. 8 shots.

Groom: I... your overconfidence is concerning. What do you know?

Bride: I know how awesome I'm gonna look. 

Groom: Okay fine. Maybe you won't cry. But a little teary eyed. You know, it's a big day. A big, emotional day. 

Bride: Careful buddy, don't psyche yourself out while trying to psyche me out.

Groom: Alright. And hey! Looks like the baraat is finally ready to start!

Bride: Finally. I was about to turn on the TV.

Groom: Just a few more hours, and then after the wedding we can go to bed and start that new show on Netflix.

Bride: Funny.

7.45pm

Bride: You guys are so, so late.

Groom: I'm not the one in charge here, in case you hadn't noticed.

Bride: What's the holdup?

Groom: Well, someone may have taken the keys of the car from the driver.

Bride: (eyeroll) I wish I was in the baraat. 

Groom: It is one for the ages. Although being the groom in one is a first.

Bride: And last.

Groom: We'll see. 

No response.

A minute later.

Groom: Okay, bad joke. How about this - let's play a little game.

3 minutes later.

Bride: What kind of game?

Groom: Well, given the circumstances, tonight is unlike any night we've had before, correct?

Bride: Yeah, so?

Groom: So, let's say, we were to say something to each other, about how we feel about something that person does or is like sometimes, or just something we want them to know... we say that. We technically wouldn't even have time to be upset about it... given that we're gonna be spending the next few hours getting married and partying.

Bride: So, you're saying that we should use this time to say something we don't like about the other person, because we won't be able to fight about it afterwards?

Groom: Yeah! Sure. It's like a free pass. Say whatever we've wanted to say to each other, especially given the stress of planning this wedding these last few months. Let's try! It'll be fun. We won't even remember what we said tomorrow.

Bride: You do know that these texts themselves are a record of what we say, right?

Groom: I did not think this through. Let's scrap it.

Bride: No, no. I want to play. I'll start.

Groom: Your eagerness to start is concerning, but okay.

Bride: I think you need to let loose.

Groom: Hmm. Not what I was expecting. Let loose how? Like, right now? Or in life?

Bride: In our new life.

5 minutes later.

Groom: How so?

Bride: These past few months have been quite unusually stressful. For both of us. But I just want you to know that this marriage isn't going to add more stress. We're in this together now. So worry less, I'm here with you.

Groom: That's nice, thank you for you saying that. I mean, reminding me of that.

Bride: You're welcome. Your turn.

2 minutes later.

Bride: Are you thinking of a new thing because the thing you were going to say was going to be funny but mean?

Groom: No...

Bride: Tread lightly, my friend. 

Groom: I just... I want you to know that I haven't forgotten about the things we dreamed of doing together when we were younger. I know I brushed them off to the future, saying stuff like we'll have plenty of time to do that when we're older or more financially secure. I just... I want you to know that I've kept a list of it all.

Bride: Of what all?

Groom: Of everything you've ever wanted for us and I couldn't give to you.

Bride: And where is this list?

Groom: In the top drawer of the night stand next to my bed. I mean our bed.

Bride: Ah. You don't sound like you are bluffing. You have my attention. What's the item on the top of the list?

Groom: Something we're going to cross off on this honeymoon trip.

Bride: I'm a bit skeptical but mostly excited.

Groom: Can I ask you something?

Bride: You want to run away? Bit too late for eloping now buddy.

Groom: What do you think married life is going to be like?

Bride: Typical answer? 

Groom: No. Tell me what you're thinking. Your thoughts are never typical. What do you think it'll be like for us?

3 minutes later.

Bride: It will be better. Life will be better. A day will be better. Monday will be better. Mornings will be better. Sadness will be better. Joy will be better. Everything will be better. 

2 minutes later.

Groom: Sounds like a full upgrade.

Bride: It is. We're still going to be us, but more.

Groom: More us? Are you talking about kids?!

Bride: No! Are you?!

Groom: No!

Bride: Good!

Groom: I'm almost at your door.

Bride: You and a couple hundred guests. My turn to keep you waiting now.

Groom: This moment, it's quite unreal, isn't it?

Bride: We have a history of going epic even in the most mundane moments.

Groom: I'm here. Don't keep me waiting too long, wife.

Bride: Some moments are worth the wait, husband.

.

For Esha and Udayan.