Majority of millennials these days suffer from the 'too fast! Too slow' complex. If they mutually connect and begin cherishing the moments spent, one fine moment, a steer fear will hit them. "It's going too fast, they say.
I would like to digress though. I think it's just their suppressed commitment phobia spurting onto the surface. Don't get me wrong. They did wish to get romantic. They did wish to spend time and enjoy the fleeting moments. But then, in the midst of it all, they get scared. Scared of the possibility that this whole thing might turn into something real and meaningful. Something that the millennials these days, just can't seem to digest. They have options. They have thoughts. They introspect, dissect, wonder and worry. There are so many variables. How will this work out. I am so busy with my work.
But please sit for a while, take a breather and think. You started it despite your busy schedule. You wanted it, even if the degree to which you wanted it might be less. This makes perfect sense since forging deep connections need work and certainly the initial beginning.
But why are there these gush of fear and the need to scrutinize everything post that magical beginning? Whatever happened to just falling. To just letting it happen on its own accord. To not introspecting every damn thing and do what your heart intends to.
You want to talk to the other person? Pick up the phone already. Why are there all these after thoughts like what if she thinks I am a despo or what if he feels I am being too clingy? You either like the other person or you don't. You don't have to play mind games. You don't have to wonder what if I give in too much or become vulnerable; it won't be a right course of action.
We need to get out of this fear of feeling emotions and being sentimental and vulnerable. Sure, there's a chance that our heart might get broken. There's a chance it will all turn into mere ashes. But that high, that fall is so much worth it. That feeling to just go with the flow, let it all feel and engulf you in its warm embrace is so much worth than the apparent possibility of a probable heart break. If only, people become more honest, more open, more lively.
I did get my heart broken into a million pieces recently and it hurt. Boy did it hurt! But sitting here, being alive in this new morning, a new day, all I can think is: it was okay. Those were some of the most perfect moments I had which I would never trade anything for. The reality probably could have been different for me and him. There's a chance he was wasn't into it as I was. There's a chance we weren't on same page.
But it felt as if we were, to me, that is. And I was truly living. I cherished it with utmost sincerity, and in the deepest of my soul. I felt it in the nooks and corners of my heart. And that's enough. At least I know, I lived as an emotional homo sapient with feelings, thoughts and sentiments. I lived in the now. I did my part. Sure, it didn't resonate as much as I had hoped for. I still don't regret an ounce of it. It was worth it. And it's a new beginning. I might be going through another phase of getting over, sadness and mourning and missing him. But it will pass. It always does. And if I just hang in there, I know and believe that it may happen again or it may not, at least I have lived exuberantly till then.