The shattered leaf

I wonder why I sit here and think about your sweet smile, your tintilating eyes and your elluring lies. I don't know why you moved on and I stayed....
I still remember the first meeting that was nothing but a forced introduction as I had no other option but to sit next to you... You were the apple of your parents' eye whereas I was nothing but an ugly lie. The days passed and we started talking as if we'd known each other our entire lives, I knew we'd always be together when in a free period you said you loved books, I thought finally I have found a soul who will understand my thoughts.
We became the best friends who never left the library, in a short period of time we bacame inseparable. I would proclaim how much I loved and adored you and all you could ever do was to smile with those shining eyes of yours.
I wrote my first ever poem for you... You proclaimed that I was close to you....
Slowly I showed you the wrecked and unkempt almost dead thing that people called... Heart. You touched the scars I didmt even know were there, you cried for me as I had no tears left and when I showed you the infected puss oozing, bleeding wounds I heard your heart crack, when I told you of the nights I couldn't sleep,  when I told you of the fingers I sometimes still felt on me, I swear I had seen you wiping your eyes. You held my hand and told me that now everything would be beautiful, that now you'd dress the open wounds and how stupid of me I believed that the mirage that was there to be the truth.
Then came the waters that tested our friendship to the most. I fell in love.....you knew I had had my share of bad luck when it came to the matters of the heart but this was different, he was different set to be in the army he was the only guy who had ever treated me with respect....i wrote and wrote and wrote the love letters he didn't deserve I said so because he turned the pieces of my broken heart to powder when he walked on it so triumphantly. I wasnt able to breathe, I couldn't see,  I couldn't walk.  You knew this but you completely ignored the cries of my now powdered heart because now all you ever talked about was the 'new guy'
Of how he understood you the most,of how his eyes shone when he looked at you. I listened to it all,  I heard every single syllable more clearly than you spoke and everytime I tried to cry on your shoulder or tried to calm the raging storms you told me you didn't like to talk about it
The final blow was when I stood there on the gates of our school dressed in a Saree and you had already left you didnt even wait for me..... You never bothered to ask how was I doing.
It has been months and you have moved on,  you have a new life and I still wonder what am I,  who am I, am I good enough because you broke every belief that I had in myself full I still look at myself in the mirror and ask where did I go wrong? I still don't understand what happened why am I sitting here wondering why where as you are out there being the woman I knew you were and I am still trying to pick the pieces you left behind.