To a Special Someone

It's been six months since I had my heart broken. It was such a difficult time, all those sleepless nights, all those times I've cried, all those times I questioned my worth. But tonight, I know I am fine.

Thanks to a special someone.

When I first met you, I had already categorized you, you would be no one in my life. But I feel strange because I feel inspired by you. I wait for your messages, I am happy when you remember to call me at the end of the day. Although you never said anything, what we have makes me feel alive.

Why do I feel like you like me too? Or is my mind just creating this fantasy to fuel my admiration for you? Are you intentionally making me feel special or is it just natural for you to be like that? I would never know because I would never dare ask.

I know it will be hard for you to like me back for real but I have this spark of hope that my reality is trying to kill.

Impossible.

Don't be fooled again.

Recognize the red light and follow the rule.

STOP.

As much as I want to cut whatever we have right now, my heart doesn't want me to. It hasn't felt enthusiastic for quite some time. For a while, I want to give my heart a break for those countless times it felt shattered and broken. But my mind tells me that I'm leading my heart to the route of heartbreak.

I wish you could make it easier for me by doing what's right. Leave me alone if you know you have no intentions of staying. Leave me alone if you plan to hurt me. Leave me alone as early as now while I know my heart can still handle that. Because I know I can't. I'm so used to being left behind I expect the same situation. Let me go now. Let me continue living accepting the fact that I'd be alone.

But if not, please tell me how you feel. Don't make me feel half-liked. I can never read your mind or hear your heart.

And if one day, I decide to leave, let me be so I can get back to what I am used to.

Please don't hate me. I like you for real and thank you for making my heart leap a little again.