To Romeo

Thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for giving me butterflies in my stomach. Thank you for letting me feel love.

Back when we were high school, I asked my sister how it feels to have crush on someone. Then she answered immediately while smiling, "when you are too excited seeing him but nervous at the same time especially when he looks at you". Okay. I didn't understand that. I never had that feeling before until I met you.

I hated you at first because of your arrogance. Do you remember when you laughed hard at me with your friend because of a big black pimple on my face which made me look like a former Phil. President? That day I called you bulldog because you look like it (imagine a bulldog's face with pushed-in nose).

I don't know what happened. This hate turned into crush then into love. I still remember when in our chemistry class, we were given requirements and I made it for everybody. Then you said, that's why you love me and all of your friends laughed.

One day, during our music class, you asked me to teach you how to play the song Maybe in guitar. I am not that really good at it, but I've tried to learn it only to find out that I had a different song in my head while you are referring to Secondhand Serenade's "Maybe". I lost my chance, eh?

I continued to learn playing the guitar because of you. During our practice for prom, every time we change partners and found each other you hardly let go of my hand to go to the next man. You had those devilish eyes whenever I am with someone. And on the prom night, you danced with all the girls I am with and I didn't get my turn with you. One time, I rode with one of our guy classmates and you shouted with a closed fist "Hey! Why are you with him!?".

Coincidentally, we found each other walking under those trees covering us from the heat of the sun. It feels romantic but I can't find my voice to keep away the awkwardness. Then you broke the silence. "Is Dan you boyfriend?", that was a stupid question. Dan's my cousin and it's crazy to date each other. You closed your fist and asked the same question. You told me that you will fight with him if we are really dating. I kept quiet, feeling this moment. Then my shoes was taken off my feet and you hurriedly got it, tried to wear it on me but I hesitated.

We have celebration in our house and you asked me to invite you over but I didn't because I'm too nervous when I'm with you. One time during our review, you whispered "I love you" but I didn't mind because I was too busy thinking of my friend in the hospital. Then you ignored me for a month. You became "Emo" and playing sad songs by yourself asking nonsense questions.

Before we graduated, you asked me to take a degree so we can be on the same workplace someday. And when graduation came, you were the last one who greeted me and we shaken hands.

That day I realized you are Romeo and I am Juliet. But you are not mine because you are other's Romeo. I like you but I didn't pursue "us", because my good friend has been waiting for you since 3rd year. Your friends say you had a big crush on her and and she says she feel the same way too. You look good with each other. I heard that a few years later, you found Juliet and pursued my good friend.

That was it for us, Romeo. I am Juliet but not yours.