To The Boy I Almost Make Melodies With

I first met you years and years ago, you are the lead vocals of a band and I was that naive 16 year old girl, introverted, but because of my passion for music I went to that place full of people and saw you, hear you sing, I thought, "hey he's cool!", with your plain white shirt, your bronze skin and your talent, I debate with myself if that was Love at first sight, since I've not yet felt love before or any feelings close to it, you caught me off guard when I already had my heart rather rendered untouched, besides I believed I would never met you again, since I am not from that town.

Change came, my parents separated I moved with my mom, on that same town I first met you. For 6 Months I kept on coming to that same place every Friday, where I know I would find you, I didn't plan on having my existence known to you, I've always been with friends,my friends are the main reason why I came there and I really like the place, the music and the people.

Then something incredible happened, we are asked to sing and play a couple of songs, I sing and I play the guitar, it was awesome! I never imagined that I would be able to sing in front of a crowd.

Suddenly my world shift, every time that I would watch you sing, you would throw me a glance and then you would smile at me, I know I am the one you're smiling at and it almost melt me.

Once you sing a line that goes "your love is beautiful" with that very line the crowd disappears, you looked at me like no one ever looked at me before, your smile never fades the whole night, I heard you asked someone about me, I saw you smile when you found out that the first 2 letters of our names are the same, I wonder if you would remember me whenever other people mention your name, because I do whenever they call me by mine, like you can't say one name without thinking of the other.

I was the happiest girl in that place, but I show you a rather unmoved expression, not because I don't like you, but because I can't believe that someone I like could like me back too, a dream I never thought could come true but the sun came and end the night, it ends that dream as well.

Until such time, with many commitments I fail to show up, it was an excruciating 3 months, caught up in school, extra curricular activities and other personal issues too. After almost 4 months I came back, ready to take risk and show you that I like you, and if there is still a possibility I want to know you more and you to know my feelings for you.

But it's too late, I've seen you with another girl, she's different from me, she's feminine, she's cute, she plays the piano, like you do, you look happy, you never seem to notice me anymore. I want to redeem those past 3 months, I want to take your glance back, but you're with somebody else and since then it has been awkward between us.

I know that we haven't introduced ourselves to each other, we never really spoken to each other, and not even flirt, I wouldn't call what happened that night as flirting at all, we just smiled that is all, but never the less it gave me hope, I wanted to tell you that I liked you that day I met you, before you even know I exist, we are strangers and we never passed that stage, it was wrong to assume that there could be a possibility of us, you already gave your song to another and I am left singing a solo.

It's been years now, you broke up with her a long time ago, and it seems history for everyone, you stayed single since then, I never had anyone, we’ve gained a lot of mutual friends, since we are member of a same organization, and we attend the same church. I don't know why even after everything, we didn't manage to talk.

For a time within those years I tried to stop wanting you, I engaged myself with activities that will make me forget you, I tried to fall in love with somebody else, but how can I, when every time I would be traveling I would remember you because I know you like it too, you like your coffee the way I do, we both like the same genre of music, we have almost the same circle of friends, you love your guitars the way I love mine, Your sisters are good to me, your best friend too, I wonder why even circumstances are pushing us closer, it seems that our hearts are the one pulling apart from each other.

It tore me apart to even think that what we have before was just an imagination, it's ironic to think that the reason why we avoid each other now is because of something that did not happen, there was never an us, that never is the reason why there would never be an us now, not even friendship. I am not sure if you feel I rejected you before or what not, I guess all I can do now is to wish you well, I still want to be at least your friend.

Because I may have been once that girl you sing songs for, but you are still that boy I create poetry and songs about and I still miss you, you that I never had.