TOTGA

You opened the knob before I knocked. You answered my questions before I asked. I am in awe, can’t stop looking at you. Why are you so kind? Why do you keep on entering my mind?

I stood there in a silence, wonderstruck. I glanced around to observe. I tried to spread around the corners the love you deserved. I became tired, hopeless, draining, but I managed to paint all the empty walls you have. I tried to put all the colors in your windows. I told myself not to give up.

But later I left, deliberately. Not because I don’t like what’s inside but because the space wasn’t enough the two of us, or three, or four. And you just need one. It can be me or him, or anyone of them. But I should go. I really need to. It’s not because you don’t need me or I don’t need you. Not because I can’t make you smile under the scorching heat of the sun, and precisely not because you can’t feel the warmth of this heart floating in the winter air you breathe. I just need to. For me, for you, for us.

It’s all because of these reasons that will keep me sleepless at night. The reasons that will keep me wondering all my life. The ones that inflicted ‘what if’s’ in my mind.

You found your kind of summer while I’m still carrying my sun to you.

You have felt that cold breeze in your desert while I’m still digging the oasis I promised.

You have found all the missing leaves of your autumn while I’m still catching the falling ones.

And you have found that spring you’re looking for, sprouting in the depths of his heart, while I’m still planting the rarest seed of the flower you like the most.

I looked back at you, my home. I mean to you, a should’ve been perfect home to this homeless stranger.

The stranger was late. That’s why he left.