Wanderlust

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

Andre Gide's quote stared back at her with judgement from her wallpaper. Frustrated, she decided to change the wallpaper.

Why keep a mockery of self esteem up there when your life does it for you every day, anyway?

She opened the customization window and remembered why she had put it up in the first place, gotten the 'wanderlust' tattoo on her wrist, or had pictures of exotic places all over her room- "I GOT TO TRAVEL!!", she grumbled in a disgruntled fashion.

It was Neva's one big obsession. She wanted to take in the fresh breeze from the mountains in one long breath and feel the cold on her cheeks as she discovered beautiful valleys in the middle of nowhere. She wanted to wander on virgin beaches as the clear blue water, stretched until horizon, made beautiful patterns with its bubbly white waves. And she really really wanted to soak in the freedom from all that bound her to everyone else's expectations. She wanted to be free from the shackles in her own mind.

She could write poetry with her thoughts that longed for a journey, all day long. But here she was, stuck in an odd desk job in a metro city in the developing markets of India.

The only silver lining was that she didn't hate her job like a clichéd drama would have it. In fact, she enjoyed it and was good at what she did. She only hoped that she could finally start doing what she has longed for years.

It was a bright sunny day, it usually was. Perks of being in a tropical country. The yoga sessions in school were about to end when Neva snuck in behind one of her classmates, who rolled her eyes at the latecomer. But that was no news, Neva was usually late to school. Her classmates didn't even bother complaining any more, they knew it was hopeless. However, that day, one of the high school teachers saw her joining late and boy, was Neva admonished!

"This girl is always breaking the rules, coming late, being insincere in the class. Is this how you behave in school, like an illiterate person?"

It took Neva all her strength to hold back the urge to explain that people could behave well irrespective of literacy. But sass would not take her anywhere today. she stayed quite and let the teacher finish her complaining before she returned to her class. It was noisy and vibrant as usual, Neva always found it weirdly soothing. She even slept in some of her classes.

Neva sleepily opened her eyes on the Sunday afternoon wondering why she dreamed about school. She smiled thinking about the good old days.

She was a rebel back in school. Yet, brilliant! Her teachers were so perplexed about her that their complaints about her were part compliments really. Her parents always heard how brilliant she is before and after getting a full report of her pranks and performances. They were secretly proud of her, of course, but never dared give any hint to their daughter. In case she found encouragement in their pride, her teachers would bugger them till eternity.

Her personality flourished after school though. She graduated from one of the best colleges in the city, majoring in business marketing and had no difficulty finding an amazing workplace soon after. She was talented and a loved working, which made her one of the core members of the marketing team in the company just within a year.

Hers was a startup, she chose that because the experience would be unparalleled, and it was. Only, she earned peanuts! Throughout her college and work life till date, she maintained that she would travel as soon as she earned enough to support her family and herself. And here she was, a year after joining work, broke to the bottom of the well, looking for any inch of inspiration she could find to make changes in order to get on a plane, or a train, or even a bus really, it didn't matter. And find a place to get lost in, for a small time at least. She would live her eternity in the tiny bouts of travel.

She sighed when she realized her current situation was hopeless when viewed from the perspective of her teenage self. She wasn't exactly at the classic 'regretting on the deathbed' stage but she was fairly aggravated at her helplessness for the situation.

She sighed and got up with resolve. Tomorrow was going to be a better day.