What Do You Know About Me?

You said it.
Without a care for my feelings.
You don't sugarcoat things just as I am.
It's fine. Atleast I know where I stand.

Hearing your words of rejection is not a surprise.
Because I have carefully managed to draw the lines,
Connecting your mixed signals,
Your insecurities, indecisiveness and lies.
Little by little I understand
That this man is not the right one.

I also realized that love isn't equal to attachment.
The way you make me feel when we're together feels like magic.
But just like all magic, it has tricks and lies.
I have found a way to debunk the tricks.
And finding the reason why you won't love me is not a big surprise.

I loved you and accepted you for who you are.
I chose you even though I have known all along that I will be forcing myself in an open pit for war.
But I thought I prepared enough. No I was not.

You said I was too clingy and jealous.
I said you are too flirty and a cheat.
We both have our flaws, don't blame it all on me.
I kept my distance while you flirt with others,
Knowing I could never change you.

Then, a confirmation of a lie.
You are in a relationship with a man. You said to me there was none and that a relationship with a woman was possible. You held me close when all your 'suitors' are present. You flirt with every man I knew when we're drunk.

Yes, all this time, I always try to understand.
How you act that way, why you were like that.
The reasons behind your actions, your nature, your soul. I tried my best to understand. And even though too many red flags are waving at me, I still chose you.
Because I believe that somehow, all your actions towards me are true. That maybe, it is really possible that you choose a woman, like me, to be with you.

I was wrong.
But your rejection isn't what hurt the most.
It is the way you believed why I was left alone by my past relationship.
"Maybe he left you because you are too jealous. You can't be with me because you are too jealous."

You are both wrong on your reasons.
He left me because he wants to become a priest, not because I am a jealous girl.
And I can't be with you because you are gay.
As simple as that.
I will not accept that you put all the blame on me and marked my insecurities over your own.
What do you know about me when I knew your soul?
What lies are still hidden from me when I understand your core?
But it doesn't matter cause you don't care about me.
And from this day I will stop caring for you.

Because I am a worthy girl. Behind my jealousy, there are a hundreds of things to love about me, but you'll never do. Oh, what do you know? What do you know about me?
Nothing. You knew nothing about me.