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What made me write.

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I couldn't really tell when I started writing but I clearly remember why I started writing. I love writing what I feel. I could remember my 7 or 8 years old self writing a letter to my Mom telling her how sorry I am for what I did. I wrote her the things I couldn't afford to tell her. I could also remember me writing a letter to my Mom because she caught my Dad cheating again. Again, I wrote her the words I knew she would want to hear and make her stay with us.

Before, in every letter I made, I always tell them that after reading the letter they can't ask me about it again because I was very shy to tell them about how I feel but now I realized that I wasn't really good at expressing my feelings through verbal. I am just good at expressing my feelings when writing.

But the problem with me is that, I couldn't write anything beside from what I feel. I couldn't write when I don't have extreme emotions with me. I could only write what my unsaid thoughts are.

I was at my early highschool when we were told to write how our semestral break happened. That time, I wasn't into writing anymore. My mom and my sister saw my work and they laughed at me. That's how bad I write and I realized I am not really for writing; that I don't have a talent at writing. But I love reading books especially poetry. When college came, I have a friend who likes writing and then she encouraged me to write and I tried writing. I made them read my work and they didn't say anything but they wanted me to continue writing. But I didn't. I didn't know how. I didn't know where's my story going. Again, I lost interest.

One month after, I tried to write my happiness. But again, I didn't finish it. Three months after, I wrote my pent up emotions again and finally I succeeded. I realized how writing could make a huge impact on me. I love how I could express my feelings without hurting anyone and without putting so much effort as I think explaining my side is futile.

That was the time I realized how I love writing and this is the first step for me to do what I love. I really wanted to do this before but I don't have enough courage before. And that's why, this is a new journey for me..


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What made me write.

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Part of the Dear Diary collection

Updated on November 26, 2017

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