Who is evil

Have you ever felt the need of rewrite story of  your life......
I was a believer of rebuilding, healing, I believed that you can do anything if you have enough will power
It worked... My believes actually helped me heal but then I looked back
Who I was and who I have become
This is not healed me... This is some new version of me a little more broken, stoned
I realised this is an infinite loop
You will fight to regain what you have lost
You will find peace
Then here you go, you are on self destruction mode
You yourself will question your peace, is this something temporary or permanent....
And you have lost it all again....
One breakdown and you are back to 0..
This is the pattern my brain follows
It itself leads me to anxiety
Why?
I don't know
I don't know how to help myself
Nobody else has the power to destroy you...
It is you yourself consciously or unconsciously....
Read your mind and you will realise your brain is the evil demon
Your brain betrays you despite being part of your own self ....
I wish I could have an escape plan
Because I am tired of fighting my own self ....
This is not what I wanted for myslf ... Nobody wants ... Everybody wants happiness for themselves ... But you can only have it when your brain lets you.....