Why can't I?

I am a very handsome guy. The guy at the mirror said. No girlfriend since birth, busted at every attempt (Die). Yeah, sucks to be me. One of my professors also said, which gives some crackling sounds in my heart,  is "Therearejustsomepeoplewhoaren'tcut offforamarriedlife". It's just like those words written in Dante's works, "Abandonallhope, yewhoenters here". God! why have you forsaken me!? Yeah if I could, I'd wish for him to erase my memories, or turn back time at least.

I think I do have good skills in talking with girls. Looking back at it, I got a girl's cell number. I kept texting her since. We've exchanged a thousand conversations, with me always sending these, "Howwasyourday, my beautiful, mylovely *******?". Cool right? Yeah I know. And she'll always reply me these nine hours later, "Oh, I'msorry, myphonewasdeadlastnight. Slr :)". And she also replies me good night when I texted her sweet phrases like, "Themoonissobeautifultonight. Butyouaremuchmorebeautifulinmyeyes". How sweet she must have been. But one day, a great day it was, I brought my guitar, with a song that I composed, I surprised her. The mood was great, the timing was great, I even brought a fine bouquet. With all my heart I said, ****** would you listen to this song? I looked at her eyes, I thought, Yes! Thisisit! Then as I pluck the strings of my guitar she said, "Yousuck, please don't talktomeanymore". The thing is, wow! The weather seemed to have celebrated with me with a sudden fall of rain. And I said to myself as I looked in the sky, "wow, there'sarainbow".

After that was a succession of a number of short romances. I named them, Number two, number three, number four and so forth. But with each number, the lesser it pains me. Thankfully, the last woman I named was number nine. Seeing how this goes on, I've come to learn that little by little, I grew numb. I grew numb that I don't care anymore. Guys get the wrong impression by just getting talked to. And I've seen myself by just observing those stupid teens in high school. Just realizing how fun it has been, to see them suffering heartbreaks the way I did. Recently, I've grown cold, developed a sense of sadism. I became quite some sort of a con artist for being a pessimistic person. Kept telling those lovey doveys, "That's not love, it's lust". Now that I don't believe at anything at all, I still want that something. Yet, why can't I?