Why Do People Cheat?

Why do people cheat?

Is it because their wives can’t give them the satisfaction in bed?

Is it because they don’t feel loved by their husbands?

Is it because their girlfriends are not enough or not sexy enough for them?

Is it because their boyfriends are too immature to care?

This question has been in my head for quite sometime now. There are some cases where I thought I already figured out the answers. However, sometimes, it will remain, as a question a lot of us couldn’t answer.

As I watch the film The Unmarried Wife, I couldn’t help but to feel the emotions that the characters are trying to let us feel. I, myself had been a “not-so-good” relationship.

However, funny as it may sound, I found myself in the characters of Dingdong and Angelica at the same time.

I’ve been in a very “f*cked up” relationship, I had a 6 years old daughter with my ex boyfriend. I was young and I thought it was true love. I was wrong, I was so wrong. Long story short, it became a very abusive relationship. I found out he is cheating on me. Because I still young and naïve, I choose to stay for the sake of my kid. I was telling friends that I’m only staying because I don’t want my kid to grow without knowing that both her parents love her. I want her to grow up, knowing she has happy family. Even thought it was all a lie. My ex became very abusive, to the point that he is already hurting me, physically, emotionally and mentally.

My escape before was work, I stayed up late in the office, because I don’t want to go home and lie. I don’t feel loved at all. It came to a point were I would drink till I can’t anymore and go home, sleep and go to work again. Yes, I know. I’m a woman. What kind of woman am I to do that?

But when you don’t feel happy with your life anymore. You would know what it feels like. Funny, but I also thought about suicide before. But every time I think about my kid, I always think about her and what will happen to her when I’m gone. She’s my remaining anchor. She is the only reason why I’m still living.

They say that love will always come unexpectedly. I didn’t know I would feel again after such a long time. But damn, it had hit me hard the 2nd time. I wasn’t supposed to, because I know he will only cost me trouble. But, I just found myself falling. I fell hard.

Maybe because everybody wants to feel loved and to be loved by someone. I am not an exemption. After such a long time, I felt like someone loved me. Somebody cared for me. But for the 2nd time, it was all just a lie.

I remember a line from somewhere, a movie or a quote that says, “ You are your most vulnerable when you are hurt.” Yes, it’s true. I just realized that I was vulnerable; I fell so hard for someone who only wanted to play with my feelings. I fell because I badly want to be loved. I want to feel again.

I didn’t wait for the pain to go away. I did not mend my broken heart before I go and look someone who would fill the spaces in my wounded heart. I was my most vulnerable state and it adds up to the pain.

Just because I wanted to be feel loved and cared for by someone.

It’s true. We all look for love.

We all wanted to feel loved.

Can you blame a husband for looking for a mistress if his wife doesn’t fulfill his needs? Can you blame him if his reason is because he doesn’t feel loved by his wife?

Yes, you are good as a person, as a friend, as a mother, but you can’t be all of that at the same time.

Have you ever asked yourself?

Are you a good wife?

Nobody is perfect.

This line may be old but it fits to every aspect of our lives.

You are not perfect. You have your own share of imperfections.

Have you ever asked yourself? 

Am I fulfilling my husband’s needs?

Should I ask my wife for a date, just like to old times?

Have I ever told my girlfriend that she’s pretty?

Did I ever tell my boyfriend, that I love him?

Gestures that will make a huge impact to every relationship.

But of course, we don’t think alike.

For all the people who had been through the same situation.

Heal all the wounds. Help yourself first. Then find love.

“Find love when you are ready, not when you are lonely.”