Why Do you Care now?

                                                          Phase 1

“Every year on this chilly night, I wait for those who care for me. I’m happy that at least they had not forgotten who Am I to them. These two fellows happen to be my friends before this mortal body had a life”. Mike and Bobby, two closest friends of mine. Muscular guy in formal outfit, Mike is my college friend whereas Bobby whose chubby happens to be my childhood.

Every year I as a ghost, I always wait for my parents, relatives and friends. They lit candle, burn some incense sticks, place flowers and pray for every dead people here in this graveyard.

“I understand this very well now, but why do you labour so much hatred to these guys”

Mr. Wright, this ghostly old man who usually talks with me. And now, he pointed out to this group of three people standing next to my friends. These are different kind of people you would find in my universe.

“They too were my friends but I don’t hate them. It just that devil is trying to deceive me once again, this time too.” Perhaps that’s all an idea came up, for now.

All I know is that they made me what I’m now. They ain’t the reason I had ended my life. Let’s keep that for later phase. For now, I need to know; why do they care to come here? They never knew I was dead a long time ago. I let it remain secret because it was my last wish.

“I only wished that no one remember me within my friend circle expect these two that’s all”

“Hmmm, that’s some strange reason. What have they done to you? You know, they have come to pray for you”

“I don’t know about that I’m just curious to why they are here now? How come they know that so called their friend is dead?”

Tears, cries and sadness on face will not fall on me. Look around, people sat beside their fallen ones, chanting prayers for them. How on earth you came to know this? Let’s see to it.

Everything goes on like this moment was meant for me. 5 years before I had my mortal body, I met these three personalities. Samuel, Jonathan and Mia respectively, Samuel is the guy who acts like a gay happens to be the oldest friend in our circle. Jonathan and Mia are distinct siblings in which Mia is older than Jonathan but due to some financial problem dropped her studies.

One the first day of college I met Samuel and Jonathan. We had crazy life during college, class bunk, bike rides, movie plans and farewell. Those were some happy moment until I met Mia and Jonathan went aboard for studies. It was that moment I got attracted to Mia; she was kind hearted and confused girl I had ever met. We begin a journey of friendship where I made it clear to her I’m gone stay away from her due to my past relation with fellow female friend. But I’ll regret this later on, a year has passed away and everything was fine until that arrived day which I feared most.

                                                       Phase 2

Jonathan came to Christmas holidays with a change in behavior which was not good. It became clear as time passed by that his under bad influence. Accompanied by Samuel, Jonathan drifted off to luxurious life and forgot about us. Maybe its right to say that friendship is defined by the way a person treat his or her fellow people, Mike and I disappeared in that foggy environment.

Samuel who happens to be a cunning person always outsmarts us. I admired that personality but his true color was something else.

“So did Samuel have something to do with it?”

“How do I put all of this? Yes, and No, you see I was a kinda childish person something like an aged immature fool. Not knowing what is good or bad? Not a single thing to think of our own. Being stun out of blue, he knew me very well. Guess I let him make a fool out of me”

Samuel is creepy because of his behavior which irritates me. But not for Jonathan, both of them tend to do awkward things. Sometimes they forget where they are? My time spend with them was fun but I always felt lonely.

                                                          Phase 3

After Jonathan left again for studies, it became clear that those words which I once spoke were nothing but a trash. I wish I could have realized it sooner. Not too long after Jonathan departed, Mia curiously told me, “Hi Irwin, have ever been to Sun Down Rain Festival. It’s local fair which happens every year, I’m really very excited about it but no one is willing to go”

“Don’t worry I’ll join you and why don’t you ask some of your friends if they may” that’s where I should have realized what I spoke.

On the day of festival, we gathered there and enjoyed a lot. At the end, Mia and I took on ferry wheel. It was first time for me while the recklessness brought a heavy price. On the third round, fear took me away. All I could think to mustard some guts to say I love you Mia but something hold me.

Past? Yes, it was my memories from past days that hold me. My resistance hold me but not the expression. Mia perhaps realized it like a fortune teller, reading minds through expressions. She insisted on telling me about it and “It’s nothing more” were my words.

You can’t prevent what is written, same goes for me. At the end of day, we all departed for our homes and when I reached home, phone rang, it was Mia. While rain had disturbed the network signals somehow we manage to talk. I revealed her very thought on her as she continuously pointed out my strange behavior. Matters started to get tensed as I could not hold everything to myself.

“We’ll be friends nothing more. You are good person but I want friendship” 

“I couldn’t agree more, Good Night” and I hang up the phone.

                                                           Phase 4

Loneliness is merely a thought that puts us behind the bars of exile, exile of ones ownself. This happen once with me and now again.

“Mr. Wright, I guess you are right. I really hate them now that I refreshed my memories. I never wanted them to realize about me. But it’s not just them whom I held guilt, I’m responsible too”

“Don’t think too much. Whatever happened was past, whatever now it’s your present. You can’t do anything except to watch them”

“Never the less, I acknowledge your wish words but those thorns are stuck onto me”

Like a moon they hid their true face who knows what brought them here. I continued onto my past, it went on as simple it could be.

Until one day, Mia and I had quarrel over personal matter that left me with burden of guilt.

Situation even got worries as time passed away. We never went to church together, never spoke well. Sometimes later her father passed away, her mind and body were shattered into pieces, crying and wiping. In the crowd I stood looking silently at everyone.

                                                         Phase 5

From that on her path and mine were separated. I started to struggle within my devil and angel. I found my solitude within the walls of my room. I lost every contact from society somewhat.

All that happiness was gone. Such was the world that I once thought was paradise. No one remembered me and I worried about until that day I was enlighten. Sometimes later Samuel called me to visit Jonathan’s Home to prepare for prayer for Mia’s Father Soul.

I went there to help them. The day went on in preparation, helping family members and ignoring Mia because I had began to hate her. Next day, she asked me “What happened to you? Why ain’t were you talking to us?”

You see it wasn’t just Mia alone whom I hated now but Jonathan and Samuel as well. Because they used friendship as mean to control me. Samuel got to explore new places thanks to the funds I provided to him. Jonathan and Mia had my technical support time to time to connect with another when Jonathan was abroad.

That day I realized that I fell on the same pit of foolishness and blindness of mean world. I never told her truth of that day. I never wanted her to know all those poisons I made for using me. I never wanted to quarrel over something like that with her.

“What really remains is the thought of those questions I have. See y’a”

“What a stubborn. Hey!”

“Hmmm” he pat my shoulder and said, “Don’t do anything reckless”

When Easter prayer was over, I followed them. Listening to every conversation, every word and finally I had my conclusion.

“You look very disappointed”

“Yes, I know and I never expected this”

I’m dead for 5 years due to an accident before that in hospital I asked Mike and Bobby to never reveal my dead to anyone as a request. They never revealed anyone. They learned it from my parents a few days ago. Mia was getting married so it was her family members who wanted to contact me for that day. Now this makes sense, my question “Why do you care now?” has been answered.

“So what is friendship? What does it mean to us? Was I friend to them? I don’t know”

Can you answer me?