why? I wonder as I wake up and walk out of my room, its 2am
why? I ask as I go and wash my face, I can't sleep
why? I think as I try to sleep, but gets up and starts writing
why I ask, why to my pen
why do i have to miss people i shouldn't be missing
I ask as I start writing another word,
another sentence, another page,
why, why me? why is it always has to be me, suffering.
leaving everything, I stand in my balcony
slowly drowning in this silence, trying to get lost in this feeling of despair because i don't want to feel anything at all in this moment
why, why, this 3 letter word, i keep chanting to myself, sleep as I bang the door, and cry my heart out trying not to make any sound, trying to let this silence outlive the smiles I had in the daylight, pretending to be fine.
so I go and wash my face again, and again
I close my eyes, I see a why there as well, but I lay there
lay there down, feeling to not feel anything at all
wanting to not open my eyes when I wake up
I need you.