Words That We Shouldn't Have Left Unsaid

So I guess this is it. My daily routine of scrolling through our old conversations, laughing at your obvious confession and wishing I shouldn't have made that stupid decision.

I had a million words for you yet I kept them all hidden at the back of my head. I was afraid that you wouldn't give me the reply I expected--I was afraid that I'd get rejected.

Because you're the kind of guy that's unpredictable. You're the exact epitome of an oxymoron that I'm willing to solve. I remember how much you preferred giving me the unexpected, with every cheesy message you sent I tried not to be affected.

I had a million words for you yet I gave you the exact opposite of the phrases you wanted to hear. That's where I went wrong, and I guess I'm the reason why you only listen to sad songs.

I had a million words for you yet I went along the other way and gave you no reason to stay. Maybe if it weren't too late for me to say, we wouldn't end halfway.

I had a million words for you yet I chose to push you away.

Now that you're gone I feel empty, it's like I'm missing an important piece inside me. The moments have faded but the memories of every single opportunity I wasted remained crystal clear. And I know too damn well that these words wouldn't be of any use... for I am no longer your muse. Finally, I am greeted with exhaustion in my head and I have the feeling of putting it all to an end.

So as I lay here in bed,

I smiled at myself in bitter red;

"Here's to all the words that I shouldn't have left unsaid."