I think I saw you
in the middle of the street.
You were panting
as you sing
a song!
The sun went down
and
then you were gone.
So soon,
you were gone.
Gone.
I never got to know if there was ever a song.
I think I heard
your voice
coming out of the water.
You were
shaped by so many evils,
denial and fear.
Your veins-
vividly showing-
coming out of your skin. The waves,
they danced,
and you were soon gone.
Again. Gone.
Whether the ocean took you away or not,
I would never know.
I think I tasted your lips
one morning.
Your lips
which tasted like coffee.
Your lips.
Your lips-
like cold iron- which tasted like
a hot soup
only with plasma as the stock.
Blood,
and images of your body.
I knew I already ruined them.
I think I smelled your perfume,
which I used to love.
Ever since.
Your manly smell,
almost made me dizzy.
All the time.
But I found out
that it was just my sheets!
Because you were gone.
Right?
I think I felt your touch
as I
was sleeping last night.
Alone.
You went on
touching my hair,
my face.
You even whispered through the darkness,
in my ears you whispered.
But how?
How is that possible
if I already killed you
with my own hands?
In the middle of the night,
your blood-
they spurred out-
your shouts-
drowning through the wind.
And you were just a yellow flower
in the spring.
Oranges are sins
that I never meant to commit.
Spiderweb is tangled up with me now
I never meant to cause trouble.
But I should be allowed to do that-
I should be allowed to kill you-
so I wouldn't have to feel
the pain
you've been causing me
for so long.
In my memories...