12:45am

I'm here again, writing.

I don't remember when was the last time. Probably, when I still aches for the person who's not meant for me. 

I've done that part. I stopped wanting that person's attention. I stopped wanting that person's heart. But, why am I here again?

Because I've found someone, again. Someone, cold on the outside but I felt his warmth inside. Someone who looked at me when I didn't even notice. Someone I never thought I'd like. Just like before, someone who was not for me.

I built walls. It's a good thing. I'm surrendering my heart up there and I'm trusting the process. If this sadly turns out just like the rest, at least I had built my walls. It's not gonna hurt like before. It's not gonna matter that much like before. 

It's 12:45, and I don't want to have high hopes. Right at this moment, I am not allowing myself to fall again. I'm not allowing myself to jump into my own pool of expectations and then get hurt because it didn't happen. Tonight, for my own good, I am not allowing myself to fall again. I don't want to feel that shit again.