Unrequited Love

How can i start this...

In this life we can't have everything we want.
We can always have the material things we need
But we can never always have the person we love
--
You can be there as a person but not as my lover
And not the way i expect you to be

I can love you but cant please your time and cant ask you to love me back
I can't just say "Please I need you right now"
And it's devastating. Having this feeling but i can't let it out.
And i don't even know how this happen
How i got this feeling or when.

It's true that it can poison a person's body and mind.
And it's very distracting that i find myself thinking this every morning the moment i open my eyes. And in the evening the moment i close my eyes. And i can feel that warm tears just falling unconsciously.
It's becoming a habit and i want to stop
But it's becoming a natural thing that i can't avoid

I cant do anything
I cant say anything
I can just do is writing.
And let it out
Hoping that you read and understand
Not exactly understand but the fact of knowing

I can choose to move on
But i can't change how i feel
The more i control it
The more painful i get

I don't know when it will be over.

Lastly,
Im not asking nor begging to reciprocate this
So, I just wanna be heard. Let this out so i can move forward with no regrets