Backwards

With a frown on my forehead
I try being gentle
I skip the conversations
And enter the world of nature

The window on the train
Is a panorama to me
Beautiful - but it only shows
The things that I left behind.

My broken friendships
Or permanent losses
Or the ones where I stayed alone
Flash right before my eyes

I cannot see past them
Because they are the beginning
And the end
From what I see through the window

Cold wind blows in
To play with and flick my tresses
I wonder why they slap my face
But nobody else's do the same.

I sit in the middle of the commotion
Trying to figure out
Why I am the only one
Finding myself in the gloom.

So a young lady of sixty
Or so I could guess
Holds my hand
From the seat in front of me

She perhaps can read my head
She asks me to change
My seat with hers
Perhaps that would change my world.

I chuckle at the thought
But rise to my surprise !
Swipe the seat with hers
And I have a new world to behold.

My tresses no longer
Beat me in the face, but rather
Pass my head by
And leave me uninterrupted.

The wind begins to ruffle them
And I love it more than I could hate
I sneak through the window
To see what the world has for me.

I feel mesmerised, I am agape
At the quest of stupidity
I have managed to extend
For far too long

I now know what she meant
How a view could change my world
Of thousand guilts
Or a hundred broken promises.

I sit, still, at the same place
Until I have nowhere to go
And I keep recalling
My memories walking past me.

All this while I have
Seen the objects move backwards
Along with all the time
Left at my hands.

Never did I think once
It was me, who was on the wrong seat
Seeing things leave right out of my hands
Vanishing into plain sight.

A window on a train
Dispelled my grief
And enchanted me with
The fortunes of future.

Now I can see
The hopeful niches of my life
Where I'd keep the moments
Yet to come.

I have realised
Not to remain any more
In the same seat
Ever again, to lose.

Or to curse
My timid heart
For loving too less
Or giving away too much.