Him

When I first saw him, do you know what was going on my mind?! Arghhhh another new character I have to get to know 🤦🏻‍♀️ Like if you know me, you will know how much I hate new people. (Like reallly..when I was little, I would wait inside my toilet for hours together just so I can avoid meeting the guests. Not a proud moment 😅)

So it's only normal for me to feel that way right?! Whatever he did, I had a problem.  And he wasn't a saint either. He would always pick fights, bicker..but you know?! He is someone you just can't ignore for some reason.

The people around him didn't appreciate him for what he did. They always seemed to use him for their own benefit. He has no filters while talking. He was the total opposite of what my ideal guy is.. and look where I am 🥶✌🏼

I like tall guys.. He isn't
I like dark guys..He isn't
I like guys with deep voice..His isn't
I like guys from my place.. He isn't
I can list it out for all eternity and he won't fit anywhere in my list. But..

Unknowingly or knowingly, he entered into my world.. mercilessly..and made it his own. And I didn't even notice. When I noticed, it was too late.
I must have missed signs because I gave myself too much credit. That, if you ask me what I am proud of about myself, I would say SELF-CONTROL. When everything else effed me over, I was sane because of that. But yeah..I was careless for one minute and he shattered my world.

I was having some sleepless nights due to work. And the next morning..he looked like a literal angel..pure.. beautiful.. mesmerising..Were his eyes always this beautiful?! Were his eyelashes always this long?! He blinked rapidly because something got into his eyes. He was the most beautiful that time..

As you can see, I freaked out. I pretended not to acknowledge what I felt.. attributed everything towards the sleep deprivation. I went and told my friends who all further confirmed that I became nuts. Aaaghh frustrating.. I actively avoided him which didn't help. Then I actively started being with him. You know? So I can get enough of him and leave. Wrong answer. He is very hardworking and gives his all in whatever he does. He is the most beautiful when he helps people. His hands are very beautiful and warm and perfect, I can stare at it all day.. He is the definition of comfort..

It gradually grew and grew, I started becoming a jellyfish whenever he talks too much with other girls. (Talking to people is part of his job ffs) I understood what I felt and I admitted to myself that it is what it is.. nerve-wracking it was

The initial fluttery happy feeling which made my mornings bright, my days light was all good. But I wasn't ready for the depressed, empty feel that came with the intense emotion aka crush. Am I regretting it?! Nope..
Am I scared? A bit..
Will I be fine? Definitely..
Because as I always say, THIS TOO SHALL PASS

I am always ready to read about something. So I read about this too.
https://pairedlife.com/love/infatuations
I read this article. I am not sure whether it was clearly written. But it really felt like how a friend would console you when you get an illogical crush/infatuation 😅 I appreciate it so much

I typed whatever came to my mind. And idk whether anything made any sense. But for now, I am at peace and that's all matters.. After all, this is not the first time right🤷🏻‍♀️

(All the above are purely fictional 🚶🏽‍♀️)