Rebooting brain 1..2..3

Considering how this place is dead, and hoping nobody is using this app, here I am.. It's 1 am and Idk what I am doing rn smh
Well..my mind is full and my heart is empty. Needless to say it's time to get over the spark. I can hear the conversation between Ross and Rachel. I mean, I am very random as always.

Rachel: You know what Ross? I am sooooo over you!!!!!!
Ross: But..but..when were you under me?

Exactly..my puppy would never understand when I got the spark..how much I am hurting when it is wagging its tail to anyone and everyone in the vicinity. Aww man..it sucks. It sucks big time and I can't do anything about it.

Long back when I was going through a heartbreak, one of my seniors tried to ease into it.
Me: So..how long is it gonna hurt?
Her: For a long time..until YOU decide to stop. And dance your heart out. This is time to dance!
Me: How to dance my heart out when it's broken?
Her: Well..FIX IT BACK! Heart is meant to be broken and to be fixed.

Well..it was around this time last year. The sea was very rough but somehow I survived that. I found my strength back, thanks to my wonderful friends and.....I fell again! Guess I like pain. This time though, I am saving my time and energy. I am not gonna confess. Annd I am gonna drive past this storm. Does it hurt? Yes..so damn much. Do I feel like spilling everything? Yes! My brain is filled with worry and self-doubts, my heart is filled with pain.

As I always joke to my friends, if my end is gonna be due to Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy, then who am I to blame other than God? Haha..

Previously I was like "If love is nothing more than just a waste of your time, waste it on me". Now, I am all like "If we live fast, let us die young! We are not losing spirit! Make it move left or right! Now RUN!!"

With that, I am ending this all over the place rant, hoping nobody finds it in this life time. At this rate, I might fall asleep before 2 am, now that I have emptied everything inside my head. Yayy 😑