Back to square one

What is the purpose of life? Some days I feel like I can do anything and everything. And somedays just lifting my finger is hard. Like today

What is this dead weight inside my chest? Is it the unreciprocated feelings weighing me down? Who told you to go and fall in the first place? Even after getting hurt so many times, how can you do the same mistake again and again?

You just have to understand the fact that just because someone is kind, doesn't mean you have to go and fall for them. And I guess some people are destined to stay alone forever. The sooner you come to terms with that, the better.

Real life scks..I get it. And wearing rose coloured glasses, seeing the world through the eyes of a love sick puppy, makes everything looks better, brighter. I know..but what you see now is the reality. It's boring, grey, dull.. Whatever you were feeling all these says was an illusion and nothing else.

So instead of looking for love everywhere else, how about searching inside?! So instead of running to heal everyone else, how about healing your own heart? In these 2 years, how many times you have lost sleep for others' problems and how many times have you thought about yourself? Isn't it okay to be selfish when it comes to protect yourself since nobody is gonna do that for you?

One day at a time? Were you even considering that? What even is that? It didn't even make sense. It's either yes or no. There is no in between. You should've been aggressively protecting yourself all this time instead of crying over your injured self.

But I am proud of you for holding up this long. You have done well all these years. And this is just a slip up. Get back up and walk again. And take your time this time. No rushing. Never again. Stay low, go slow. You will be fine as wine again..

Ugh..what a confusing all over the place post..But getting it out will do some good I suppose..