2 years later

Its not like anyone cares, but here i am again! I find myself here more often when i am sad, some stories i write and some i leave in the drafts.

So I have a boyfriend since a year, he loves me, he is the same person who was ignoring me but he came back and i forgave him with time and with the amount of efforts he put in, he agrees to his wrongs and is continuously sorry for them. Not like its necessary its totally okay if someone does take the person they love or loved back but its a matter of personal choice. 

Today i want to write about stability and family. What is family stability? Is it food, clothing, shelter and security? or is it something else. 

I believe i am privileged, born in a professors house i have never found shortage of food, clothing, shelter and security, so i dont believe i have first world problems but i do have valid problems. I am emotionally abused in this house. I am fed but every bite is reminded with taunts. I have clothes but no freedom to wear anything apart from 2 kinds of clothes.  I have shelter but ever other day i am told to get out and find some other place. I have security but that includes constant calls every breathing movement and no going out after 5. 

I don't know if i am allowed to say it or not but consider yourself lucky, consider yourself lucky if your mother hugs you and knows how to take a stand, consider yourself lucky if your father is a confidant and not a scary person who threatens you, consider yourself lucky if your siblings want to hear your problems even if they cant solve it. I know every person is different and what is my threshold maybe i can take one more insult or maybe it will stab me and go through my body this time. Maybe one day i will be safe, safe from the demons that grow inside me with every evil and soul crushing word that comes out of their mouth and pierces my mind. Is money really that important? If you don't have money in your house but a emotionally fulfilling family, isn't that better than a family where you show everyone a smile but you are just screaming and clawing inside?

Its been 4 and a half years studying law, but still feminism is thrown as an insult to me everyday. I just want to finish the line and complete this course so I can find my way out. But will I be able to cross this line or will i just fall and watch the line fade away?, here's hoping!