2nd Letter to Myself

July 5, 2020

Title: In exchange of my SOUL

Dear Me,

No, This is not about me. It's about this Vampire who is in love with you.

He is obsessive, controlling, and unbelievable but deep inside me keeps reaching for him.

I do not know if you are still alive reading this letter but I will tell you.

Once upon a time, you were there...

A foolish girl who offers her heart to others yet, in return sharp knives come and pierce my soul down to hell

Wishing to end your life...

People blaming you for your little mistakes and haunt you like a ghost in all your social media accounts

The little birds in twitter become into judges in court giving opinions about you which are not true and formulate shit that fuels the drama.

The beauty of Instagram in which you share your beauty to others turn into a place of shame to shatter your face like a broken mirror.

You thought Youtube a place of learning and fun.

Yet you tend to ask for forgiveness and take accountability of your mistake which you did not commit. Made you a topic to all to feed their manipulative minds.

FACEBOOK the place which destroyed you entirely.

WHY? This place is where your family is connected to you. All my family is disappointed with you and was too embarrassed to be related to you.

My parents are concerned about you and yet You didn't want to involve them in your problems.

Instead of reaching out for them, You caged yourself all alone in your apartment.

You stripped yourself and looked at the mirror.

A girl who was loved by all turn into fraud, scandalous, and labeled as a danger to society.

You let these blades decorate your whole body with BLOOD RED lines of words in which you are horribly labeled by the monsters.

You just shut yourself from the world and waiting for your time to be taken.

While you were sleeping that terrible night...

You dreamed...

You saw a guy who looks handsome, strong, capable and is willing to accept who you truly are

He offered you all the riches of the world and promises to that you will forget all your problems and scars in which the world has given to you.

He treats you nicely, kisses your hand and looks at you like you were kind of goddess.

You are lonely and is longing for a little warmth of comfort.

You hug him and accepted his offer without thinking a second thought.

You didn't care about his looks, his attitude, his personality, and his wealth.

You only seek comfort from him.

He offers his warm embrace and gave you the time of your life.

He gave you HAPPINESS

You spend the whole day together and shared warmth with each other.

He gave you all the pleasure that you needed and moan to every time he tastes you.

You were happy and forgot the reality in which where your problems still exist.

Then there comes a time that he wanted a little something from you.

You said you would give everything for him instantly

He asked that you will never leave his side and promise you a lot of things in return.

Which he meant you have to leave you FAMILY, FRIENDS, YOUR CAREER and everything in that horrible world and replace it with him and all the riches, things and remove all your problems.

You suddenly realize this is not an easy decision and you just met the guy

You offered yourself to him and you felt hesitant of what he said.

You said No because you can't leave the people who are important in your life. And You barely knew him.

As he heard that answer he became angry and tried to choke you with his two bare hands

His eyes turned into blood red and he's teeth formed into like white piercing needles.

He said that we will be wedded at midnight and he will take your soul

Once your soul is tied to his soul your soul can never come back.

He threw you away and caged you into a room filled with jewels and riches.

You catch your breath and he approaches you and licks your neck

You will become mine and you will never escape from my grasp

He left and said he will prepare for the wedding.

I tried looking for a place to escape but felt hopeless.

You missed everything in reality. Even though you felt suicidal you still felt love and cared for.

You realize how important they are and you can't just replace them with a demon-like man 

As you were forced by the servants to wear a wedding dress you always dreamed of wearing when you get married.

They made you beautiful and let you wear expensive jewels.

this place was too perfect and gave everything you wanted

but you didn't want it. 

While you were taken out of the cage and have to ride a limousine to the wedding.

You asked the driver to drop you in a near grocery store to buy something before you get married.

The driver insisted that he will buy it for me but You asked him to let You do it yourself and You thanked him for accepting your offer as a wedding gift.

So he let me go. You went to the nearest grocery store and ran for your life.

Everyone was looking at you filled with shock and were talking back at you.

They saw you wearing a beautiful wedding dress and was roaming the store

You didn't care as long as you escaped and go back to your loved ones.

Then everything outside the store turned into dark blackholes

Thunder shots outside and I was running for my life inside this big grocery store.

Oh, no he is here!

While I was running away, I heard his deep voice asking for where his bride is hiding.

How can he find me easily?!

Then a person pointed to my direction and I immediately ran fastly as I could to the exit.

I can hear his angry footsteps running towards me.

MY HEARTFELT LIKE I MIGHT GET A HEART ATTACK ANY MINUTE

I am almost at the exit but seeing an endless black hole.

He grabbed me by hand and looked at me seriously.

I cried and asked him to let me go

I don't want to get married and leave my love ones behind

He didn't speak any word.

I said to him while crying that he might give me happiness but he can't make MY life perfect and complete.

I would rather live as myself and learn to love myself.

And unexpectedly he let me go and let me fall in the endless pit of darkness.

I can still see his face while falling then closed my eyes.

Then I woke up and heard my mother "It's time for breakfast!"

I was shocked what kind of scary dream I have been dreaming!

This actually happened to you! Everything you just read is a real dream!

The Dream that kept haunting you for entire life! 

You kept having this dream!

It started when you where 5 years old and it comes back again and again every year!

I know me that this is the recent version of the dream is this.

But you kept wondering what is the guy's face. If I have seen his face maybe... I don't know...

I just don't understand why this dream comeback to me every year once I sleep.

I feel he is still waiting for me on the other side and waits for me to end my life to be with him

I guess he is still waiting for me....

P.S Angel