Night words

Today was supposed to be my all-night-up night! I'm feeling sick as I have no choice but to sleep. This night, it conspires against my plans... but I am learning to say no to it's conspiracies, and instead following my plan of action.

All night up needs a bit planning to carry off... it's not easy with a job. A serious, earning job. And why in the first place would one want to stay all night up? 

Because, it breaks the monotony. Night holds many answers to your queries, if only you gave it the opportunity.

If you are up all night for maybe the last time in your life, you'll want to check out exactly at 2:00 a.m. how the sky in your city looked like. Next you want to make something for yourself - a hot chocolate! The best thing in the world.

Next, you would like to sit with your hot chocolate and contemplate the steam coming out of your mug. And really feel like seeing, your motive. Your next step. Not short term  but in the long term. What can it be? In today's times, there are opportunities all around. And all you do is wait and see what is that one that knocks on your door. Seriously, this is what one should do, instead of going about wandering and then getting lost. One should only follow what one must. And rest shall take care of by itself.

Maybe... one might be tested in testing times, but one must not test oneself that's a sure thing. And I'm tempted in this quiet hour to do a nihilistic take on things. What if in the above statement, by "testing" , I mean to say, we as puppets in his hands, are sometimes tested to be judged by him, if we would be fit for a given role? And he gave US the power to select or reject that role?? What if we knew what we were doing would amount to, some days later? 

Is that a window that I just formed between my present and future? Only nihilistically!