A letter to my almost lover!

Dear(my perished),

Looking back at the days gone by; when I was a dreadful mess with a bleak heart like a barren field with no one to water it. At that time I just wanted to stop feeling alone but it wasn't easy for me and there was no other way around either.

I tried to get over the bads of my life, and eventually failed every time.

I started loosing myself.

My patience. My courage. My strength.  My Everything!

And yes, I was almost there (to strain).

I just wanted to bid my final farewell to everyone and you know it was very scary to be ready to die.

And yes, I was almost there (to die).

And then this happened!

You came into my disolate existence like a warmth of a sun upon a daunting night thus making me stepped out from my past, to relive and to experience it all over again.

And yes, I was almost there (to abide).

Suddenly I started feeling like everything in my life has led me to you only.

My choices. My heartbreaks. My regrets. Everything! When we were together my past seems worthless.

And yes, I was almost there (to alloy).

Everything was coming right in our way and our life started passing by faster than we want it to.

Well, it was nothing at first, but over the course of time we started talking more and more.

First texts, then calls and Skype and what not! We never had any trouble finding something to talk about. I feel like we kinda shared a common ground. At second glance we found insanely a lot in common between us.

The calls got longer. Deeper. More intense. We talked about literally anything. I opened up to you, you opened up to me and we discussed a lot. Our pasts, our opinions, our values, and perspectives on lives. Nearly everything but reality.

And yes, I was almost there (to infinite).

I remember, the one conversation we had;

-"promise me we we're always going to be friends!" I asked.

-"now, I have to promise that?", You questioned to my insecurity.

-"just....Promise me, that's it"

-"Okay, yes we're always gonna be friends" you said by assuring.

*And I think, I really believed that, in that moment*

Our feelings for each other became more and more obvious. We couldn't tell ourselves we're just friends anymore. Because we weren't acting like that anymore.

And yes, I was almost there (to love).

I do remember, when we were watching the last episode if our favorite series.

And I asked you, if you've ever been in love or want to be in love! And then you said "no".

At that tenor of time I just gulped my feeling within myself and felt like all of this wasn't real.

And yes, I was almost there (to cease).

That bout of time was all about the emotions and the pains associated with the feelings of loss, despair, grief, helplessness, disappointment and sorrow.

And yes, you were almost there killing me (my emotions).

Besides the all blues, I just smiled and went back to my place.

So, with the end of our last episode, the end of whatever this was came.

After that you didn't really want to talk as often anymore and I feel that something has changed. I guess you were avoiding me.

The next thing I know was; we "bust-up" & "concluded".

And yes, you were almost there (to leave).

And yes, I am still almost there (to love).*Again*

                                     - 'the one',  whom you almost called your love (to display).