A letter to my J

Hi, it's been a while.
I miss you. I really do.
I miss your smile. I miss your eyes. I miss your warm hugs. I miss your sweet caresses. I miss your jokes. I miss your laugh, the sound of your voice, your lips, your kisses...
I miss everything about you.

How are you doing ?
It's been almost a year since we broke up.
It was on July wasn't it ? Do you still remember ? Because I still do. I really do, and although I have moved on these memories will forever be remembered. These painful memories I have cursed and cried. These painful memories that broke my heart. These painful memories that shattered my soul. These painful memories I am thankful for.

J, I know it's really really late but I thank you for everything.
Thank you for being part of my life. Thank yoy for teaching me to open my heart and to not become afraid of love. Thank you for inspiring me before. Thank you for motivating me and supporting me. Thank you for making me laugh, smile and cry. Thank you for pushing me ro my limit, for inspiring me and most of all thank you for taking me for granted and for breaking my heart.

I know I'm being dramatic but fuck drama I'm being real here. I just want to tell you that I do not regret letting you in my life, yes you were a mistake - my so damn fucking beautiful mistake that I will forever be thankful for.

I wrote this because I miss you and I have been losing sleep because of this. I miss you not because I still love you. I miss you because I just do. It sounds funny but I really do.

I know your happy now, with all your girls and stuff. But I really hope you miss me to. I hope you think about me sometimes. I hope you miss me like I miss you. I hope and I will always will.

I wish you all the best. I wish that you could find the girl who would make you contented unlike me. I wish you will both be happy and that he would love you more than I did. I wish you would not be hurt again like what I did to you. I wish you all the very best.

I know time will come we would cross paths again and I hope that during this time it would no longer be awkward. I hope that during that time you would smile back at me with no marks of plasticity. I hope that during this time we could be good friends again.

I wish you all the best my J. I will never forget you and if I were in a next lifetime I would still choose you because you were worth the risks and the pains. You made me who I am today and with that I will forever be grateful for you being part of my life.